"The View" hair stylist who so skillfully tamed former Gov. Tim Pawlenty's locks on Tuesday is somebody whose techniques the ex-guv should have spent time mastering.

That was precisely the presidential look he needs on the campaign trail should "Courage to Stand" -- a book title so boring some columnists just skip it -- help him muscle the Republican Party nod away from presumed frontrunner Mitt Romney.

ABC's executive publicity director did not respond to my calls seeking an interview with "The View" stylist/magician. (That ABC guy probably will do what Tom Emmer did this week and respond a day late.) I got word to Pawlenty Tuesday that we needed to talk image, but he has not responded and probably won't until our paths cross at the MOA or a party, where he can't avoid me.

Whatever the product applied to Pawlenty's hair at "The View," he ought to purchase it by the caseload. He might also consider hiring the stylist who smoothed his hair at just the right flattering angle to give him a few lessons on how to accomplish that finish. Pawlenty's hair looked better on "The View" than it did with George Stephanopoulos earlier or later on CNN, when it was regrettably fluffing back up in full.

Frontal fluffing is, of course, better than that MiniMulletMan cut he was sporting in 2008, the last time I verbally mussed his hair.

Gag, anyone?

Is it too early to issue a "Stupid Jerk Alert" on Trevor Mbakwe?

Yes, the U's leading basketball scorer apologized Wednesday, but come on: 1) His debut for the Gophers was delayed by a felony assault charge matter in Florida; 2) he violated a Minnesota harassment restraining order because he couldn't suppress the urge to communicate with a young woman via Facebook; and 3) he thought it was fine to get chesty about being arrested for violating that court order on Twitter, repeatedly, before his account was suspended.

Oh, and run a comb through your hair, Trevor, before meeting the media to apologize for being a distraction!

The Gophers haven't attracted the caliber of players who can get away with thinking the rules don't apply to them. Coach Tubby Smith is supposedly a terror in the locker room, so it's a real mystery why can't he put the fear of God into these arrogant young clowns he recruited.

Kris 'n' Kim

Tri-State area restaurants, note this date: Feb 6.

If this romance between Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian still has legs, she'll probably want to throw her Minnesota-born Nets hunk a blowout party on his 26th birthday somewhere in the NY, NJ or CT ZIP codes. Then again, maybe they'll opt for a private party for two, since this NBAer shuns media attention when he's off court.

"Then why is he dating Kim Kardashian?" the woman at janetcharltonshollywood.com wants to know.

This romance "is DOOMED because he is media-phobic -- the exact opposite of the Kardashian family, who have the media to thank for their fortune," wrote Janet Charlton on her website.

Charlton was looking for a photo of the lovebirds when I told her that's a snapshot that would require lots of staking out by the paps, because Humphries eschews the media. "Good observation on your part," she said after searching her photo sources. "Same-frame is hard to get."

The only photo she found out there showed "Kris running away in a blur. Kim's only hope is that her publicity-loving mom, Kris Jenner, can convert Kris Humphries to embrace the media. They'll certainly want to feature him on their reality shows," she wrote.

Can't imagine what it would take to get Humphries on "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" or "Kourtney and Kim Take New York," but I would think such an appearance would be very much against his nature.

It's getting more difficult to tell what Kardashian's true nature and motives are with Humphries, because publicly she's sending out mixed messages.

"Heads up Kris Humphries," reads a headline in Us Weekly on Page 46 of the Jan. 17 issue. Us quotes Kardashian as saying, "It's easier to just be single and not have a relationship. How do you get to know someone on a reality show? Some people think they can handle it, and they really can't."

I gather this is a quote from Kardashian in the February Glamour, from an interview in which she speaks frankly about romance, according to Us Weekly.

On "Entertainment Tonight," Nancy O'Dell teased a story by saying, "Kim does put her vow to stay single in 2011 to the test."

Speaking for herself, Kardashian said living single means "having no one to answer to, so I can go out and do whatever I want and come in at any time that I want."

That's not how most serious romances work, but these are probably excellent ground rules for dating professional athletes.

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.