Retired WCCO-TV anchor Don Shelby experienced an unusual sensation in bed the other night.

How's this for BREAKING NEWS?

"I felt this very nice, smooth leg rubbing on mine and I thought, 'Hello. Hello,'" said Shelby, who reported that his wife, Barbara, was also in bed. "Found out it was just me rubbing my own leg."

Shelby's legs have been shaved because fishnet stockings and stilettos are part of his costume as narrator of the "Rocky Horror Show LIVE" playing at the Lab Theater through Halloween. I ran into Shelby last week when he was promoting the theatrical event at Fox 9.

The Shelby casting is genius. Although I've never seen "Rocky Horror Show" -- a fact that astounded Shelby -- I predict the Lab Theater audience is going to go wild when Shelby steps out in his getup, and he's going to eat it up. He is relishing this rather slick way of appearing on competing stations, which would not have been allowed during his WCCO years.

In addition to discussing the sensual feel of shaved legs, we also talked about how Shelby's hair has grown down the nape of his neck. Very un-anchorly. He looks so hip, I reminded him to beware of women who might try to pick up this grandpa.

Shelby said any woman who tries to distract him need remember these four little words: "Barbara will kill her."

Barbara loves her Don, although she's just as happy he has hobbies that keep him out of her house and hair during the day. Or should that be Nair?

'The weather walk'

WCCO-TV meteorologist Chris Shaffer has the jauntiest walk on television.

Last year I told Shaffer how enchanting I find his gait when he's walking to his marks on the set. He told me that Don Shelby did a great impression of "the weather walk," as this ambulating has been dubbed by his colleagues.

The night of Shelby's last show in November, after the studio had mostly emptied out, I got Don to demonstrate for Shaffer's insouciant stride.

Kardashian-free zone

Knowing how tight-knit the Humphrieses of Minnesota are, they could not have been happy that Kaela Humphries' Fashion Week debut turned out to be a Kardashian-free New York City event.

"Kim Kardashian Snubs Husband and Sister-in-Law in Front of Everyone," read a headline. Writes Gawker: "Three front-row seats remained empty at Kris Humphries' plus-size model sister Kaela's New York Fashion Week runway debut at the Richie Rich show, reportedly because Kim and her sisters [Khloe and Kourtney] were supposed to come but didn't show.

"Kris was spotted making frantic cellphone calls before the show, maybe to beg them to come? Salt in the wound: Kris and Kaela went to Kylie and Kendall Jenner's runway show."

Let me also note that, obviously, Kim didn't even try to ingratiate herself with her new mother-in-law by taking her to the Vera Wang show. Debra and William Humphries were in NYC for Kaela's big runway event.

Now, what was that word that talk show host Wendy Williams used when describing another Kardashianesque move that slighted Kris? It started with an "s"... Oh, yeah: "Selfish."

Joe Jonas sighting

Q: "What's Joe Jonas doing in town? " asked an e-mailer, Jim Jackson. "He was at the Target Center Life Time Fitness working out over lunch."

A&Q: He performed Thursday at First Avenue. Did you get a photo?

A: "No. His boys were big."

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.