Even accomplished writers need to scrutinize their first drafts.

Consider this item, which made its way into a distinguished national publication:

"The University of Michigan said Wednesday that it had agreed to pay $490 million to more than 1,000 people who had accused a doctor who worked with football players and other students of sexual abuse."

We are left to wonder: Who are these "students of sexual abuse"?

Of course, no such group crossed the writer's mind. He was trying to tell us that a doctor was accused of sexually abusing football players and other students. But in the sentence, the accusation and the nature of the offense are too far removed from each other; therefore, the writer baffles and loses us.

Instead, make it: "... accused a doctor of sexually abusing football players and other students."

A classic example of this kind of error:

"The mayor of Buenos Aires vetoed a measure that would have granted same-sex couples access to pay-by-the-hour 'love motels.' The popular motels are used primarily by young people who live with their parents, prostitutes and adulterers."

The writer knew exactly what he or she intended, but the mind wandered, just as the words did. Easy fix: "The popular motels are used primarily by prostitutes, adulterers and young people who live with their parents."

Another example: "The gardens were rescued from decades of neglect and vandalism by the Women's Committee."

Naughty, naughty women!

Rescue that sentence from the passive voice (and preserve the women's innocence) by writing instead: "The Women's Committee rescued the gardens from decades of neglect and vandalism."

These examples prove the value of reading one's draft aloud. A careful writer wants you to grasp a sentence's meaning immediately — not to wallow in a drift that separates elements of a sentence that need to cling to each other.

Feedback Department: A reader responded to the column about the pomposity of the expression "I am increasingly of the opinion that ..." He cites a similar offense: "Not for nothing are we changing the rules."

Twin Cities writing coach Gary Gilson, who teaches journalism at Colorado College, can be reached through writebetterwithgary.com.