1. Ravens (5-1)
Yeah, they had 12 penalties, sputtered on offense and turned a 17-0 lead into a two-point victory over a one-win Philly team. But they closed it out, which is a big deal, eh, Vikings fans?
2. Chiefs (5-1)
So now Andy Reid can win games running the ball 46 times for 245 yards? That ain’t fair.
3. Steelers (5-0)
This probably is the best team in football. Beat the Titans on Sunday and the top spot goes to Blitzburgh.
4. Seahawks (5-0)
Russell Wilson. Next question.
5. Titans (5-0)
Wanna know Derrick Henry’s most valuable asset? He has missed two games in five seasons.
6. Raiders (3-2)
They felled Patrick Mahomes before the bye. Can they take down Tom Brady after the bye?
7. Bears (5-1)
They keep winning with great defense and a QB with a $6.6 million salary cap number. Hmmm.
8. Buccaneers (4-2)
They beat Aaron Rodgers and the Packers with a great pass rush and good pass protection. Hmm.
9. Packers (4-1)
It’s just weird seeing Rodgers flustered like he was Sunday.
10. Bills (4-2)
Buffalo has lost two straight while allowing the Titans and Chiefs to convert 15 of 24 third-down plays (62.5%).
11. Saints (3-2)
Coming off a bye, they should beat Carolina and head to Chicago with a 4-2 record.
12. Colts (4-2)
Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. Philip Rivers is.
13. 49ers (3-3)
Perhaps declaring their demise after Week 5 was premature. They leap up nine spots from No. 22.
14. Browns (4-2)
The Browns are 0-2 and have been outscored 76-13 in games against the AFC North bullies from Pittsburgh and Baltimore.
15. Rams (4-2)
It feels strange saying this with the boy wonder Sean McVay as the head coach, but LA’s offense needs to do a better job helping LA’s defense.
16. Dolphins (3-3)
… and on the Seventh Week, Ryan Fitzpatrick rested …
17. Cardinals (4-2)
Déjà vu for Kyler Murray. The former Texas prep star is still beating high school-caliber teams at the Cowboys’ stadium.
18. Broncos (2-3)
Sorry, Vic. Some of us really, really, REALLY thought you’d lose to Bill Belichick whenever that game finally was played.
19. Patriots (2-3)
They haven’t been under .500 through five weeks since 2001. If they can shake COVID-19, they’ll climb back.
20. Panthers (3-3)
Bridgewater completed an un-Teddy-like 55.2% of his passes in the loss to the Bears.
21. Eagles (1-4-1)
Want to feel better about the Vikings’ horrendous start? Philly’s first six possessions against Baltimore netted minus-12 yards and no first downs.
22. Bengals (1-4-1)
Joe Burrow makes 1-4-1 feel a whole lot better than it normally would.
23. Cowboys (2-4)
Hey, Siri. Has an NFL team ever won its division AND gotten the first pick in the draft?
24. Chargers (1-4)
How do you snap a four-game losing streak this week? Play Jacksonville coming out of a bye.
25. Lions (2-3)
How did Matt Patricia raise his winning percentage above .300 last week? He played Jacksonville.
26. Falcons (1-5)
Minnesota Nice < Atlanta.
27. Vikings (1-5)
What’s that smell? The rotting remains of some schlub’s prediction the Vikings would finish 9-7 and make the playoffs.
28. Texans (1-5)
Win or lose, it’s kind of fun watching a 73-year-old interim coach without a care in the world.
29. Giants (1-5)
Focus, New York. You’re in the NFC East. Tanking for Trevor isn’t going to be easy. It’s going to take lying down, removing your nose from the grindstone and minimizing all that you don’t have.
30. Jaguars (1-5)
Five-game losing streaks sure take the cutesiness out of Gardner Minshew’s mustache.
31. Washington (1-5)
Dear, Joe Gibbs. You’re only 79. Our close personal friend Sid Hartman worked another 21½ years at your age. Washington needs you. Again.
32. Jets (0-6)
T-A-N-K, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor!