News today: Mall of America announces another expansion, aimed at the upscale market.
News from 2047 AD: The Mall of America today announced plans for Phase 6, which would expand the complex deep into Edina, swallowing Southdale.
"We think this is a unique opportunity to bring Southdale's core strengths into the Mall," said a spokesman, noting that the Mall of America would not demolish the venerable center, but use it as free-standing mall within a large domed atrium flooded with water. Light! Sorry, flooded with light. "You'll be able to get the outdoor experience of walking from your car to the mall doors, but you'll be inside."
The project is expected to cost $23.4 billion, and includes the upscale Galleria as well — with some additions. The Galleria expansion will double the size of the existing complex, and include duplicates of the existing stores where everything will be 15 percent more expensive for no good reason at all. "There's a clientele out there that's happy to pay a premium just for the satisfaction of knowing they're just filthy with money," said the spokesman.
Routing France Avenue underground will be a major undertaking, MnDOT says. "For heaven's sake, we just spent $3 billion putting light rail down that street," one unnamed source griped, saying they'd probably put the trains in a tunnel under the France tunnel.
The new wing will also have a competitor to Ikea, a Norwegian furniture company called UREA. The 500,000-square-foot store will sell furniture at a price slightly below Ikea, thanks to its decision to eliminate the two extra screws Ikea puts in the box to make you think you put the stupid thing together wrong. Also expected: Williams' Noble Barrel, which was formed by the recent merger of Williams-Sonoma, Barnes and Noble, and Crate and Barrel. No one knows what they will sell. Possibly shoes.
The Mall has been expanding west since absorbing the airport in 2039; it is expected to begin commuter flights between Terminal One and the Southdale addition in 2050.