Problems you don't have: the disapproval of the Queen.

Hmm: what might that story be? Oh:

Will the wedding be canceled? No. Turns out "Kate," as we now call her with charming familiarity, was out on a night with some relatives, one of whom became properly potted, and relieved himself in the bushes. While this is not exactly high-class behavior, it'll probably endear her to the yobbo class: she's just like us!

Royal marriages are more interesting than they used to be, because they're no longer used to forge alliances. In olden times when a prince had to marry a duchess from Upper Holstein to cement a mutual-defense treaty, love had nothing to do with the matter. It was usually a union of two chinless inbred dimwits whose primary objective was the production of additional chinless inbred dimwits. There were exceptions, of course. Now they're free to marry for love, so the princesses tend to be good-looking, like Kate. (That's a bad picture on the cover.) You wonder if the British public wishes they could skip Charles entirely and go directly to King William, because Charles seems about as inspiring a national figurehead as a bunch of damp rags stuffed in a suit.