Q: I've got a problem; I think the new leadership of my company is incompetent. I need my job, yet am caught in a dilemma. If I do what my boss says, I will not serve my customers well, but if I don't, I will antagonize him. How can I handle this?

Valerie, 41, vice president, operations

A: Let's start with challenging a key assumption. You've said you need your job. Recognizing that you probably do need to be gainfully employed, do you really need this job? Why not some other job? How would the situation look if you stay open to the possibility of change?

I get it, change may be frightening, it may be hard to find other options, you may like most things about your work, or it may just seem inconvenient. But closing your mind to the possibility of change will limit your ability to find solutions, including those that will help you remain satisfied in your current role.

Beyond that, there are a number of considerations to weigh. The first is whether your discomfort rises to the level of an ethical challenge.

If you are being asked to do something you consider to be immoral, illegal, or unethical, give serious thought to whether you're willing to risk your integrity.

For example, there's a difference between following directions that lead to poor customer service and those that result in, say, fraud. In some cases, this may fall into a gray zone.

In the case of an ethical issue, determine how far you will go in terms of whistle-blowing and/or leaving the organization. Determine how you will simultaneously take an ethical stand and look out for personal needs.

Consider what you know about this leader. For some in new positions, their initial efforts to make their mark fall short, but they learn from their mistakes. Do you think this could come to pass with him or her? What options do you have to inform him or her about consequences of the direction he is setting?

Within the new environment being created, think about what success looks like. Are there ways you can continue to do work you are proud of and to serve your customers well? It's a reality that much can be done under the radar, so consider you have additional tools at your disposal.

You also have a quality of life determination to make. Even if you can live with the ethical aspects, what are the broader implications of working in a negative environment?

It's concerning that you are worried about antagonizing your boss, and I'm wondering whether this is based on an experience you have already had. If so, think about whether there is some form of recourse available to you.

Keep in mind that workplace stress can have serious health implications, and if you decide to stay in your role, look for ways to manage the stress. Find healthy outlets, including exercise and hobbies. Get support from family and friends, and do plenty of things that are fun.

Be sure not to let work become your life; it's surprisingly easy to fall into that trap when things are tough on the job.

And remember, one way or another, this too shall pass.

What challenges do you face at work? Send your questions to Liz Reyer, leadership coach and president of Reyer Coaching & Consulting in Eagan. She can be reached at liz@deliverchange.com.