Dear Amy: I was so sad and embarrassed to learn that my ex-husband was involved in corporate crimes during the time we were married. Evidence revealed participation in a complex scheme that resulted in a huge settlement for the company he cheated.
I had no idea he was committing crimes right under my nose — a common scenario, as I now understand it, when it comes to wives of white-collar criminals. I quietly left the marriage and took a work assignment halfway across the country to escape his erratic behavior.
A second corporate fraud case is now on the docket. I am now wondering if I should remain silent about my departure from the marriage, or take a few proactive measures to share with those that were once in our circle of friends that I was neither aware of nor condoned such illicit acts.
From what I am reading, a divorce from a white-collar criminal is often perceived as a means for the wife to protect her interests, all the while standing by her man. I am not that person, and I am increasingly uncomfortable that this could be the perception.
What should I do?
Amy says: Because you feel so strongly about this, you should claim your own narrative, using your own words and writing down the story you want others to know.
But for now, do this only for yourself. I don’t think it is wise to publicly note any details about your ex-husband’s crimes until these crimes are completely settled through the courts and you receive current and competent legal advice directed only to you.
The last thing you want to do is to somehow accidentally ensnare or implicate yourself in the situation you are trying to distance yourself from.
