Ask Amy: Misleading obit omits first wife

Dear Amy: My father recently died. I am the child of his first wife. He also had a child with his second wife, to whom he was married for 50 years. My half-brother "Gerald" and I get along fine.

Our father's obituary was written so that it sounded like his second wife was his only wife, with no mention of my mother. Dad was prominent in his field, and his Wikipedia entry also makes no mention of his marriage to my mother.

My name and my children's names are in the obituary and the Wikipedia bio, but the implication is that I am the child of his second wife.

My mom never got over my father's infidelity and desertion. She is hurt that she has been written out of his life like this. Should I say something to Gerald to change this? Should obituaries and biographies be truthful about exes?

Amy says: Obituaries tell the story of a person's life, and, yes, they should be factually correct.

If Gerald wrote the notice, then he omitted your mother's name purposely and incorrectly, as family members sometimes do (some family members of the deceased even write competing death notices, including different information about their loved one).

He might have done so to protect his own mother's feelings.

Regardless of who writes them, biographies and Wikipedia entries should be factually correct.

This Wikipedia entry should be revised. You could edit it yourself — and you should let your brother know that you are concerned that information concerning your father's life is not only incorrect, but also hurtful to you because it erases your mother's identity and creates a false impression regarding your own identity.

Dear Amy: I think it is time for pet owners to take a good, long look at their beliefs and behavior and give non-pet people a break.

My mother and uncle struggled with allergies to animals. The problems ranged from nasty skin lesions and irritated eyes to alarming breathing problems.

When I saw similar problems beginning with me, I promised myself I would never have pets. My health is better as a result.

Please don't tell me my allergies are not real because you can't see them.

Please leave your pets at home when you stop in to see me.

Please stop telling me that volunteering at the shelter would change my mind.

Please don't tell me that letting your dog stray into my yard to poop (and leaving the evidence there) is something I should not complain about "because if you had a pet, you'd understand."

Amy says: I understand why people see their pets as "family members," but some humans use this as an excuse for every single choice regarding their pets.

Allergies are not the only reason some humans don't want to be around animals, and, yes, pet stewards should respect other people's choices.