Dear Amy: My father died four years ago. I am my mother's trust administrator and recently met with a lawyer to make sure I was doing everything right. My brother attended this meeting, also.

Everything was fine until the issue of 200 acres of land my parents owned was mentioned. My brother said we would sell it when the time came, and he told me that my youngest sister agreed.

I was surprised by his comment and said I did not feel that way. This land has been in our family since the 1800s. It is the original homestead of my ancestors and close to where I grew up.

Currently the land is farmed and taken care of by a close friend. I know the worth of the land, and I understand completely why my siblings feel the way they do. I feel no anger or resentment toward them.

I discussed this with my oldest son and asked if he could work on a map where I could keep 20 or so acres. He said he could do that, but then he said that he thought I was thinking with my heart and not my head. He mentioned we don't live close to this land, and it wasn't like I would be driving by regularly to "visit" the area.

How do I sell this land when I feel such a strong pull to it?

Amy says: If as a group you and your siblings end up jointly owning this land, you'll have to arrive at a solution regarding what to do with it.

You need to think carefully about the future of this land, and research options. Your son seems to be indicating that he doesn't have an interest in inheriting the land, and so if you held onto it and the next generation ended up selling it, would that serve your purpose?

Purchasing a few acres for yourself and perhaps selling the rest to the farmer who currently works it might be a solution for all of you.

I hope you can visit the property in order to honestly evaluate your attachment to it. Take lots of pictures. Understand that your family's history in the area will always be there, rooted in place — even when you're no longer guardians to this particular property.

No fond memories

Dear Amy: Recently someone in my church circle passed away. I've known her for most of my life, and she was quite consistently mean to me.

But I always found ways to work with her. I believe her attitude toward me taught me some good lessons in tolerance and basic compassion.

Our church family is now enveloped in extended grief, mourning and text chains of prayers. But I'm having trouble participating. Any advice?

Amy says: Be grateful for the lessons this person taught you and express compassion and sympathy for the loved ones she left behind, but don't mourn publicly unless you want to.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.