Welcome to the Wednesday edition of The Cooler, where you can’t stop what’s coming. Let’s get to it:
*Kyle Sloter picked up a bandwagon full of fans while excelling for the Vikings in various preseason duties the last two years, going 80 for 107 with 809 yards, eight TDs and just one interception against almost exclusively reserves from other teams.
There was an outcry from that same base when Sloter was unsurprisingly cut by the Vikings on Saturday — with Minnesota opting to keep just two quarterbacks, including Sean Mannion as the backup to Kirk Cousins. Sloter was picked up by the Cardinals and put on their practice squad, never to be heard from again, right?
Uh, not exactly. “PFTCommenter” from the hit podcast Pardon My Take was a late addition to the Sloter bandwagon, and he isn’t letting the Vikings off the hook. In a style uniquely his own, he put a curse on the “historically clutch” Vikings.
I’ve officially lost track of all the Vikings curses, but maybe at some point they will all cancel each other out?
*FiveThirtyEight has a fun new project in which it maps the fight songs for 65 Power Five schools, charting them all for length, pace and, most importantly, cliches.
Minnesota’s “The Rouser” checks in as one of the faster-paced songs, but it is shorter in duration than average. Seems like the perfect combo, right? But the Rouser does have three fight song cliches: the word “rah,” some “nonsense syllables” and a spelled-out word (M-I-N-N-E-S-O-T-A).
*Florida State blew a 31-13 lead to Boise State, falling 36-31 in the heat in Saturday’s opener. Head coach Willie Taggart said he thinks dehydration might have played a role in the collapse, which isn’t necessarily funny but is amusing considering rival Florida was the inventor of Gatorade.
*Old friend Kurt Suzuki capped a wild Nationals rally Tuesday, hitting a three-run walk-off homer as part of a seven-run ninth inning in an 11-10 win over the Mets.
Suzuki has 16 homers and an .807 OPS this season.