Q: What do you think of the latest "vajazzling" trend, and where can I get it done in Minnesota?

A: I asked 1,300 followers on Twitter and three local estheticians, but no one seemed to know where one goes to have her pubic mound and vulva waxed bald, then decorated with adhesive plastic crystals. Stripping images of colorful, sparkly sweatshirts of their innocence, the term "vajazzle" is an amalgamation of "vagina" and "bedazzle" (you know, like sticking plastic rhinestones to clothes). Since I couldn't actually verify that this practice occurs professionally in the Twin Cities, I'm going to say it's less of a trend and more of a fad that only happened in New York City after Jennifer Love Hewitt copped to having it done.

In lieu of a pro opinion, I've come up with some ideas for home vajazzling. At Completely Bare Salon in NYC, the apparent home of vajazzling, they guarantee your va-job for five days. While I can't imagine anything of this nature lasting that long under a pair of jeans or after a roll in the hay, I bet you could get it to stick for at least two days using quality eyelash glue or liquid latex. As far as what pretty things to attach to yourself, I imagine cruising the scrapbooking section at Target will give you all sorts of decorative options. Plain or colored rhinestones, letters, numbers, flowers ... ideas abound. You can also stop in at your local Indian shop for a handful of self-adhesive bindi crystals, which are designed to stick to skin (though I'd use a separate adhesive, given the excretive nature of this particular area of the body). Your vajazzle will start to fall off after a couple of days, so make sure nothing gets up inside where it doesn't belong. Also, since the vajazzle has such a short life, make sure someone else is around to enjoy the party in your pants.

Q: Recently I have been sharing relations with a very attractive older woman. After a few wild romps she told me that she was married but separated. She explained the situation and I didn't mind. My question is, if I'm only 21 and don't consider myself an adult, is this adultery?

A: If you weren't technically an adult it would be statutory rape, which isn't any better. Luckily, you're three years into adulthood, at least as far as the government is concerned.

I wasn't going to answer your question, but I came across something kind of interesting. The crime of adultery is very specific in our state. According to Minnesota Statute 609.36, "when a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery and may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than one year or to payment of a fine of not more than $3,000, or both."

How sexist! The law was written during Minnesota's territory days, when gender equality didn't exactly exist. Although the law is no longer enforced, no politicians from any party are interested in getting it repealed. In a December interview with WCCO-TV, Sen. Ellen Anderson (DFL-St. Paul) said that "anything that has to do with sex becomes a political football around the Capitol," hence no one wants to touch this one. Apparently WCCO went digging around in state law books after the Tiger Woods infidelity fiasco (and apparently I'm in the minority in not understanding why the hell other people's marital problems are anybody else's business).

Persons actually convicted of adultery in other states usually get the book thrown at them for fornicating in public. If you and your adulteress prefer your sexual encounters al fresco, then that's your only risk here. You can get slapped with a misdemeanor, a possible 90 days in jail and/or a fine up to $1,000.

  • Alexis McKinnis is taking your questions about sex, dating and relationships. Send them to advice@vita.mn or submit anonymously at www.vita.mn/alexis. Don't leave out the juicy details!