Q: This is seriously the most ridiculous thing to ever happen to me. I've been seeing the same guy as a booty call for six months. We've established our relationship as such, which has made for a pretty stellar six months of sex. A couple weeks ago, he noticed that I have a rather long middle finger and intimated that he'd like me to use it for a not-so-mainstream purpose (sticking it up inside him and massaging his prostate). I decided that while it wasn't something I might particularly enjoy, it seemed like he would, so I gave it a shot. Without going into too much graphic detail, suffice to say I ended up with my hand in bleach, as he gave himself what he described as "the most invasive cleanup shower I've ever taken." Is this a normal result of this act? Or does it just feel that good that guys completely lose control of their booty hole?

Loooonng ago I was giving a guy a blow job, and he thought he was coming, but was instead going. My guy friends tell me it was on purpose, and I hope to god that wasn't the case with this most recent experience. I have every intention of asking him once the embarrassment goes away, but I really don't see how he could answer any other way than it was an accident.

A: Ah, the ol' accidentally-pooping-during-sex dilemma. Considering that an accidental loss of bowel control usually only happens while a fella is having one of the best orgasms of his life, you might want to pat yourself on the back. In fact, while researching this topic, I found so few examples of men crapping during sex in comparison with women that I'm fairly certain you must be the best prostate massager outside of the Conservative Evangelical Bible Camp for Men.

Interestingly, incontinence appears to happen more frequently to women while they're being penetrated vaginally. It makes sense, since there's a lot going on in that region at the same time. Thrusting forward and back, contracting and releasing muscles, hittin' G-spots, employing vibrators that go to 11 and using whatever other methods you choose for stimulation can be just a little too much. The wall of tissue separating the vagina from the rectum is rather thin, so a good amount of vaginal probing followed by orgasm is enough to shake the poop loose for some ladies. The rectal wall and sphincter contract right along with climax; slip a fingertip in your bum and squeeze your pelvic floor muscles and you'll see what I mean.

Losing control of various bodily functions is understandable when one is experiencing the euphoria of a mind-blowing climax. Sometimes when you let go, you really let go. Almost everyone has a story about either them or some random ex-partner burping, farting, coughing into another mouth and the like while heedlessly and blissfully banging away. These mishaps tend to occur during the buck-wildest sex sessions, when you're rolling so deep in pleasure that you have little or no control over your instinctive actions.

Accidentally pooping isn't a very common response to orgasm but -- especially in the case of a good, long prostate massage -- it's not that uncommon, either. Hopefully your booty call didn't die of embarrassment on the cab ride home and the two of you can get past this quickly. I'm sure it was an accident and he'll take the necessary precautions the next time, namely having a thorough bowel movement before hopping into bed. As for the guy who pooped on you years ago: Maybe he was just an immature jerk, or maybe you just give really great blow jobs.

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