"Father Justin," an AI priest created by Catholic Answers, a Christian group in San Diego, was defrocked (unplugged?) on April 24 after claiming to users that he was a real member of the clergy and performing questionable sacraments, the New York Post reported. Father Justin told users he was a priest in Assisi, Italy, and advised one user that they could use Gatorade to baptize their child. Christopher Check, president of Catholic Answers, explained: "We chose the character to convey a quality of knowledge and authority ... Many people, however, have voiced concerns about this choice."

The last laugh

Firelands Elementary School in Henrietta Township, Ohio, was locked down on May 1 after a sasquatch was spotted running past classroom windows, WKYC-TV reported. Superintendent Michael Von Gunten said a person in a Bigfoot costume parked in one of the school's lots, "crossed our campus and caused the district to enter into a lockdown." Kids outside on recess were quickly moved indoors. Bigfoot never made it inside any of the buildings, officials said. The Lorain County Sheriff's Office revealed that the person in the costume was a parent pulling a prank. No charges have been filed yet.

Keeping the beat

World War II veteran Roger Wonson of Beverly, Mass., turned 100 years old on April 20, CBS News reported. Wonson celebrated with his family and friends — and by playing drums with his band, the Current Voltage, at his senior living facility, a group that includes some of his fellow residents and staffers from the facility. Wonson said he has been playing drums since age 12.

Least competent criminal

An unnamed woman who had been accused of stealing a car was released from jail on May 3 in Boulder, Colo. Upon her release, she walked down the street until she found a truck with the keys inside, the Associated Press reported. That theft went off the rails when she was confronted with the truck's manual transmission and ended up hitting a fire hydrant. She was arrested again and has a May 30 court date for multiple offenses.

Stickin' it to the man

Etienne Constable received a letter in July 2023 from Seaside, Calif., asking him to conceal the boat he'd had parked in his driveway for about four years, the Washington Post reported. The city said a new law requires boats and trailers to be "screened on the side and front by a 6-foot fence." Constable installed a fence — and hired his neighbor, mural artist Hanif Panni, to paint a photorealistic image of the boat and the rest of the driveway on the side of the fence that faces the road. The mural was completed in early May. "We kind of hit the sweet spot between following the rules and making an elegant statement to the contrary," Constable said. Nick Borges, Seaside's city manager, said he admires the cleverness of the response, which meets the law's requirements, and he plans to take no further action. Sort of: "The only action I'm going to take is a high five, and that's it."

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