"Please, no orchids". While my husband doesn't share my passion for gardening, he doesn't discourage my adventures in horticulture, and often supports them from a safe distance. Yet I remember that request from years ago, just after he helped to set up my greenhouse.

I think he thought it was a short and slippery slope from orchids to owning multiple cats and growing African violets. Even though gardening has gotten a lot edgier these days, it hasn't changed that much in his mind. He still considers gardening a firm marker of middle-age and would probably prefer that I raced cars for fun like he does.

In spite of giving up the greenhouse when we moved to Minnesota, I think he worries that if I got into orchids, our house might resemble the one up the hill that emits that eerie florescent glow at all hours. At least we think they grow orchids.

So when I headed out to the Orchid Show at the Marjorie McNeely Conservatory over at Como Park, I could hear that plea echoing in my ears. Still, I needed a little color and warmth. And I decided to go with an open mind while leaving my cash at home.

The orchids were all gorgeous, of course. Deep purples, pure whites, intense pinks, splashes of chartreuse, bronze and maroon; enough eye candy to brighten even the dullest day. So what's not to love? These luscious hothouse flowers look way too high maintenance for my garden style. My gardening leans to the lazy and laissez-faire. I'm probably organic simply because I don't get around to fertilizing or weed-killing that much. I doubt I could stick to the regimen that keeping these specimens blooming requires.

Although orchid instructions seem reasonable, all the peripheral foo-foo just hits me wrong. Way too much crushed velvet, sparkly growing medium, and black backdrops. Such drama. They aren't planted so much as staged. And bless their hearts they can't even hold up their oversized blooms without those little squiggly-shaped supports. And so many people taking their photo. It all screams diva.

I just don't know how I feel about investing so much energy into plants that can't grow without human intervention. I'd probably like them better in their native habitat. Come to think of it, our state flower is an orchid, hmmm.

However I suspect these orchid enthusiasts are still smarter than me. They conjure up beauty and blooms while the snow is howling outside. While I'm whining about winter, they're coaxing flower spikes. They garden without bugs and sweat and weeds.

I haven't completely resisted the lure and allure of these tropical stunners. I'll confess I own one orchid. It sits in our bathroom where I hope the humidity and light are just right. I bought it for all the wrong reasons; tempted with how the coppery shade complemented the wall color.

The other day I even fertilized it.