CRAIG'S LIST
So you're Christmas shopping and time is running out and you just don't know what to get that special NFL player who has everything.
They don't actually make "Get Out of Jail Free" cards, except in Monopoly, but nice try.
Hmm. Let's see.
If you're stumped, just give money. That should make at least one little Johnny very happy come Christmas morn.
Here are some other suggestions heading into Week 16:
SD +1 at SF
Chargers by 7
For Jim Harbaugh: A one-way ticket to Ann Arbor. For Ray McDonald: An orange jumpsuit.
PHI -7½ at WAS
Eagles by 10
For Daniel Snyder: An NFL team.
GB -10½ at TB
Packers by 14
For the Bucs: Tailbone pads for being the first team to face Aaron Rodgers after the Bills game.
DET -7 at CHI
Bears by 3
For Marc Trestman: A one-way ticket back to Canada, where they don't pay their quarterbacks $1 million per turnover.
ATL +6 at NO
Saints by 7
For the NFC South: Coal.
NE -10 at NYJ
Patriots by 17
For Bill Belichick: Garage sale tips from Bud Grant because these AFC East trophies are piling up.
KC +3 at PIT
Steelers by 7
For everyone old enough to remember watching Walter Payton: No more comparisons between Le'Veon Bell and Walter Payton.
CLE +2½ at CAR
Panthers by 3
For LeBron James: A new little buddy with no signature celebration.
BAL -5½ at HOU
Ravens by 3
For J.J. Watt: 6½ Brett Favres for his pursuit of Michael Strahan's sack record.
NYG +5 at STL
Giants by 3
For Tom Coughlin: Critics who remember that he won two Super Bowls with Eli Manning as his quarterback.
BUF -5½ at OAK
Raiders by 3
For the Bills: Something soft to land on for the inevitable NFL fall that follows the week after beating really good teams.
IND +3 at DAL
Cowboys by 10
For the Colts: Nothing. Six AFC South games are more than enough.
SEA -8 at ARI
Seahawks by 10
For the Cardinals: Nine more quarterbacks to get through the next eight quarters.
DEN -3 at CIN
Bengals by 3
For Peyton Manning: NFC home-field advantage for any team not located in Seattle.
UPSET SPECIAL
MIN +6½ at MIA
Vikings 27, Dolphins 24
For Mike Zimmer: Hope for Teddy Bridgewater's continued growth and prayers that Mrs. Turner doesn't mind her and Norv wintering in Minneapolis.
Record
Last week/overall: 9-6/ 124-81-1
Versus spread: 7-8/ 104-102
Vikings picks: 11-3
Upset special picks: 5-10