New of the Weird: Chicago gang leader says hospital closing would bring 'genocide'

  • Article by: CHUCK SHEPHERD
  • July 19, 2013 - 4:53 PM

Despite Chicago’s recent crisis of gang-related street murders, the Roseland Community Hospital in a tough South Side neighborhood is on the verge of closing because of finances, and community groups have been energetically campaigning to keep it open. Joining civic leaders in the quest is the Black Disciples street gang, whose co-founder Don Acklin begged in June for the hospital to remain open, explaining, “It’s bad enough we’re out here harming each other.” Besides wounded gang members needing emergency care, said Acklin, closing it would amount to “genocide” because of all the innocent people exposed to crossfire.

Crème de la Weird

Whitby, U.K., town councilman Simon Parkes, 58, confessed to a reporter in June that he had had an extramarital affair — in fact, an extraterrestrial extramarital affair — with the 9-foot-tall Cat Queen, and that she had borne him a child. Parkes said the Cat Queen is biding her time until technology is available to bring her and the child to Earth. Said Parkes, “There are plenty of people in my position who don’t choose to come out and say it because they are terrified it will destroy their careers.” Parkes said his wife knows about his periodic meetings with the Cat Queen and is “very unhappy, clearly.”

Government in action

A warehouse in Landover, Md., maintained by a company working on contract for the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, contained “secret rooms” of furniture and equipment described as “man caves” for company employees. The EPA inspector general announced the discovery in May, and the government confiscated TVs, refrigerators, couches, personal photos, pinups, magazines and videos that the contractor’s personnel brought in while ostensibly “working” on agency business.

He did it for fine dining

In Kobe, Japan, in May, an unemployed 32-year-old man carried out a minor theft — stealing a wallet from a parked scooter — apparently just to be locked up in the world-famous city. Besides being the home of Kobe beef, it is acclaimed for its French, Chinese and octopus cuisines, and in fact, Kobe’s Nagata Ward Precinct is renowned for the special gourmet boxed meals prepared by local bento shops, delivered daily to prisoners, which the thief said was foremost on his mind.

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