This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.

Intellectual Weinerism

Posted by: James Lileks under Outstate, Praise, Technology Updated: October 23, 2013 - 1:41 PM

Your boss knocks on your door. “Hey,” he says, because that’s how people start conversations these days. Ever watch “Fringe”? Every time someone wants to begin a discussion they say “hey.” There’s probably a supercut of five seasons of “hey” on YouTube.

Okay, now I have to check. Hold on . . .

Hmm. No. Someone get on that, please. Anyway, the boss says “hey” and you look up with the usual flutter in your gut when the boss shows up, and then the boss says “We need to talk,” which is bad. If the boss says “do you have a moment?” it might be about giving you more work, or discussing a new project, but “we need to talk” could actually mean “we’ve discovered that you’re tweeting out office secrets pertaining to national security.” In which case:

A White House national security official was fired last week after being caught as the mystery Tweeter who has been tormenting the foreign policy community with insulting comments and revealing internal Obama administration information for over two years.

Oh dear. Since the Internet is Forever, the Daily Beast has examples galore.

The Daily Beast saved a long record of @natsecwonk's tweets prior to the shutting down of his Twitter feed.

“I'm a fan of Obama, but his continuing reliance and dependence upon a vacuous cipher like Valerie Jarrett concerns me,” he once tweeted.

“Was Huma Abedin wearing beer goggles the night she met Anthony Wiener? Almost as bad a pairing as Samantha Powers and Cass Sunstein ....,” he tweeted on another occasion, insulting a top Clinton aide, a then Congressman, and two White House senior officials in one tweet.

Joseph's snark was not confined to his Obama administration colleagues. He also took aim at senior Republican figures and lowly GOP Hill staffers.

“So when will someone do us the favor of getting rid of Sarah Palin and the rest of her white trash family? What utter useless garbage .... ,” he tweeted last October.

When you tweet these things under “natsecwonk” you’re really begging to be looked at, aren’t you? It’s intellectual Weinerism.

THUMP The backstory on the existence of this video: the uploader obviously has a DVR, and was able to rewind to capture the moment when the newscaster displayed her astonishing poise in the face of unexpected thumps. Or he sits there with a camera every day, just recording local news. Whatever the case, good luck not playing this ten times in a row:

GULP An expose of an expose: Kernel discusses the matter of Alkaline Water machines, and how they’re sold.

(M) any of them use blatantly misleading titles and search engine tomfoolery. A YouTube video entitled “Kangen Water myth EXPOSED on CBS News” is nothing more than an advertisement for Kangen water, littered with links to sales websites and tips about “financing options”. Multiple websites containing titles such as “Kangen Water Scam” and “Alkaline Water Snake-Oil” are nothing more than online marketing pamphlets run by people who are making money from the alkaline water business.

I’ve seen this technique with other marketers - you search for some info on a dodgy scheme you came across, and the EXPOSED video or website gets your attention right away, so that’s what you click.

It’s like they have one weird trick to make you go to that video!

As for the virtues of alkaline water, well, that’s nothing new. An ad from the 1930s:

Speaking of scams, let’s drop in on “Leonard,” the scambot who runs a site designed purely to fool search engines into thinking it’s a legitimate site. No link, because that’s just what the site wants. The title of this post is “Crookston Minnesota Hotels.”

No doubt you are convicted of a strong core of young talented players. In 1967 in particular, the crookston minnesota hotels a strong sense of serenity with beautifully green plantation that makes you feel like you are planning to buy readily available property. As such, they have the crookston minnesota hotels in Minnesota requires the crookston minnesota hotels an accident up to buy Minnesota Twins first hit the baseball team Minnesota Twins tickets. The Twins were one of your license plate as well. Your rental car reimbursement you must have bodily injury liability coverage will reimburse you for the crookston minnesota hotels a car if your car insurance policy is found to be proportional with what is happening in other areas.

It’s a fascinating premise, isn’t it? Don’t you want to know more? Here you go:

Needless to say, Minnesota Twins or the crookston minnesota hotels with little umbrellas in them. But there's a lot to root for. So throw on your car.

Throw on your car indeed, friends - but don’t stop with Crookston Minnesota Hotels. Another entry reveals the mysteries of Richfield!

So, there are great opportunities throughout Minnesota for a great view of St. Paul and there are some things that you can choose in emphasis in graphic design, 3-d media, or integrated media. Independent Arts institutes, such as fire, falling objects, certain natural disasters, and vandalism.

Best description of some modern art as I’ve ever heard. We continue:

The former carries with it up to the richfield minnesota hotels and migrants in the richfield minnesota hotels. Golf Digest magazine agrees and lists this area of Minnesota DWI penalties in Minnesota, it can have far-reaching implications. Therefore, when hiring an attorney, be sure to visit some of this article does not seem that the team has six American League pennants and three World Series but almost immediately following that big win, the richfield minnesota hotels in year 2007.

We’ll check back in another few weeks to see what other insights Leonard has.

Speaking of bizarre things on the internet, have you seen this little ad warning about the true hazards of male supplements?

It’s like Rodin’s “Thinker,” except he’s pondering how he can open the front door without tearing it off its hinges.

IN JULY? Open Culture is wrong here, just wrong:

If you get into a conversation with an Orson Welles enthusiast, try not to mention frozen peas. By now, even those who barely know Welles’ work — those who’ve barely seen Citizen Kane or heard War of the Worlds, let alone The Magnificent Ambersons or F for Fake — chuckle at the fact that, in the twilight of his career, the actor-auteur took on such theoretically easy-money jobs as presenting an “instructional film” on gambling for Caesars Palace and narrating a series of British television commercials for Swedish frozen-food giant Findus.

Most Orson enthusiasts I know love the Frozen Pea Rant. Here it is, fully animated. As far as being safe for work, there’s a sexual reference and a curse word. But it’s a curse word uttered by Orson Wells, which is a different matter.

Now go to the Open Culture site for another treat. I could embed it here, but that would be wrong.

ADVERTISEMENT

Connect with twitterConnect with facebookConnect with Google+Connect with PinterestConnect with PinterestConnect with RssfeedConnect with email newsletters

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT