This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.
It’s freezing out there. That’s a sweater-wind out there. That’s the sharp breeze you get in September that says “oh, it’s over. It’s so over.” But let’s just pretend it’s an anomaly that has no portents for the future, and move along with some internet stuff. Short on content today; working on a column.
SCIENCE! This scrollable panorama of Mars is absolutely stunning, and I don’t use that word often. I hate how everything that looks good is “stunning.” This is stunning. The only problem: if I’m looking down on the lander and I don’t see a pole . . . where’s the camera? I’m sure people will seize on this to say the landing was fake. Yes, they wouldn’t have thought of that, if they’d faked it. Big whoops there in the set-design department.
C’mon. They’re don't have to fake anything when they are obviously capable of keeping it real.
LANCE LAWSON Here’s your mystery for today. Match wits with Minneapolis’ sharpest detective! Not only does he get a confession out of the guy in three panels without saying why he suspects the killer, the guy spills his motive. Downcast and abashed.As well he should be.
D’oh Yes, the second Simpsons post this week. It happens. It’s odd, since I stopped watching the show almost a decade ago, back when it lost its heart and started being “Homer chooses a new stupid thing to do, with guest star Elton John.” But Vulture notes:
According to the Simpsons Wikia, after 23 seasons there are now 1,612 characters in The Simpsons’ universe, from major to minor to celebrities just passing through for a voice cameo. When citing or quoting the show’s most memorable supporting figures, most fans tend to dwell on such iconic recurring Springfieldians as Comic Book Guy and Lenny and/or Carl, who have strutted (or, in the case of Disco Stu, danced) through the town on multiple occasions. But this gives short shrift to the more fleeting figures, those quick cameos who may have only been seen in one episode or even had just one line, but still made an impression on the show's obsessive fans.
Vulture polled current Simpsons writers to see which obscure characters they liked. I didn’t recognize the first three. The fourth is the security guard who busts Bart for getting the four-finger discount on what, Bonestorm? Was that the name of the game? Hard to believe that Bleeding Gums Murphy is a fleeting figure - he’s been in the credits since the show began, right? And while we all love Spider-Pig, c’mon. We only like him because of his song.
OOPS So you’re heading into choppy economic waters with an outdated business model, nimble competition and technological change that’s demolishing the very existence of your core product, what do you do? Why, load yourself up with debt, of course. You’ll have to hit the link to see which industry I mean.
LANCE SOLUTION Had the rope broken when he was pulling on it, the victim would have been hurled away from the bale!
Enjoy the rest of your day. And bundle up.
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