Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.
CP: When you showed up at my desk yesterday, fresh from the parking lot to bring me another delicious baked good, I had to guess it was you based on nothing more than your steamed-up glasses and a pink nose peaking out from the hood of your Arctic parka. An L.K. Hanson caricature!
RN: Exactly. That puffy maraschino cherry-colored coat can be seen from outer space, that’s how big it is. It’s the outerwear equivalent of a down-filled sleeping bag. But it’s warm.
CP: There are positive sides to this winter’s infernal chill. Men here are sporting scarves at their desks, which makes the newsroom resemble a Lanvin atelier.
RN: Are you and I still working in the same place? I’m beginning to wonder if this thin Arctic air has impaired your brain activity.
CP: Not sure, but it definitely hampers my determination to remain moisturized. I recently sanded an entire door jamb using just my cuticles.
RN: Please. If my chapped lips were a movie, they would be the scene in “Lawrence of Arabia” where a parched Peter O’Toole crosses the Nefud Desert — twice — before leading the attack on Aqaba.
CP: Friends in more temperate climates are always asking, “How do you endure it?” These softies live in places where they can wear a nice dark shoe in February without having to wipe it down each night with a water-and-vinegar solution. What shall we tell them?
RN: Start with a joke. For example, my friend Tibby has claimed “Polar Vortex” as his new drag name. Then quickly invoke our beautiful summers.