To me, Twin Cities comedian Kevin Craft sounded rather full of himself about being on "Tool Academy 3," a cable reality show.
"I'm not proud about it," Craft clarified, "but the more exposure I get, the better it is for my comedy career. Understand? I'm not happy about being considered a tool."
Hallelujah! "Tool Academy" is the reality show franchise that dupes bad significant others into thinking they are on their way to having some fun when they are actually about to enter a kind of relationship re-education camp. Pat yourself on the back if you know nothing about this lowest common denominator in a genre that's already shockingly low and common. It airs at 8 p.m. Sundays on VH1.
"It's the show your spouse or partner takes you on if you're not treating them right," Craft said. "My wife took me on the show because I've been messing up."
Asked exactly what he has been doing, Craft said, "I've been doing a lot. I'm on the road a lot."
So he's the married world's bargain-basement, rib-tickling, non-golfing Tiger Woods?
Absolutely not, said Craft, who prefers the brown sugar. From the looks of the show, Craft's only marital sins are not wearing his wedding band, flirting with other women and causing his wife to be suspicious.
I drew sustained laughter from the comedian when I told him, he doesn't need "Tool Academy," he needs my commitment boot camp. Have you not been faithful ... was as far as I got in my next question before Craft interrupted me with: "All I've got to say is watch the show. They flew us out to Cancun, we're having a good time, drinking, partying with all these girls, when all of a sudden a big sign comes up -- 'Tool Academy.' We were tricked and now we're in counseling."
Craft has been married for two years to Jermika, who's no bargain, either, considering the couple's October 2009 appearance on the "Tyra Banks Show," where Kevin exposed his wife's "20-hour-a-day" texting habit.
She'd rather text than have a conversation. She sends texts during church. "I'm texting my friends the word," Jermika told Tyra. "All my friends can't make it to church."
Jermika apparently even likes to check her text messages during a time that gives a whole new meaning to the term sexting.
When it comes to the home lives of Jermika and Kevin, it didn't take long to get to Don't Tell Me Anymore! However, after viewing Craft's act on youtube.com/craftnation -- where he has a pretty high profile -- I'm not sure how much of Craft's "Tool Academy 3" performance is schtick. "Tool Academy has helped me become a better man," said Craft, who can be booked at craftkevin.com.
"Hey, just flew in from LAX and Greg Kinnear was right behind us. He was greeted by a girl with a sign that read 'The Convincer,'" read an e-mail sent from a tipster's iPhone.
Kinnear, who is a cutie in addition to being a fine actor, is shooting "The Convincer" in the metro along with Alan Arkin and Billy Crudup.
Another e-mailer claims to have seen "Mad Men" star John Slattery arrive at the airport Thursday night.
Slattery is not attached to "The Convincer," as far as a movie source knows. Maybe Slattery is in town for other reasons ... or maybe it was just someone who looked like him?
Medals = savings
Olympian Lindsey Vonn medals, and you reap the swimsuit savings.
Kushcush.com, the swimsuit company of Minnesota-born designer Kerry Cushman, has an Olympic deal for customers. "For every individual medal Lindsey Vonn wins at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, we are offering 10 percent off at kushcush.com! To receive the discount code, simply become a Kushcush by Kerry Cushman Facebook Fan or sign up in the shopping portion of www.kushcush.com by the Closing Ceremony next Sunday . The discount code will be e-mailed to Kushcush members and Facebook fans on Thursday 3/4/10," Cushman told me.
The Minnesotans have never met. But Cushman is on her way to Vancouver, where she would be as thrilled about bumping into someone from Vonn's camp as she was when she picked up a Sports Illustrated and discovered Lindsey wearing Kushcush designs.
As of Saturday, Vonn had won two medals (gold and bronze), which translate into a 20 percent discount on Kushcush swimwear.
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Poll: If the state's $1.9B surplus were "fun money," how would you spend it?