The election is over and your team didn't win. You've had it. You can't live here and watch the country go to hell in a handbasket. So it's Plan B: Move to Canada.

But hold on a minute. You don't just load up the U-Haul and roll over the border waving at the smiling customs agents. They're a little fussier than that. Canada may have the world's most lenient immigration laws, but you still have to jump a few hoops to get that "Welcome to Canada" handshake.

An old DWI on your record can be the end of it. It makes you a "member of an inadmissible class" -- barred from entry. Canadians consider DWIs felonies, and felons aren't allowed in, even for a visit. But you can be rehabilitated. Apply for an "Approval of Rehabilitation," pay a processing fee and the issue can go away.

In most cases, you need a permanent visa to become a Canadian citizen. It allows you to live, work and get free health care in Canada. To apply, pay $475 (Canadian), and take a test, scoring at least 67 out of a possible 100 points, according to Karen Shadd, spokeswoman for Citizenship and Immigration Canada in Ottawa.

You have to be desirable. The test asks about your education, language ability, age, etc. You earn points depending on your answers. For example, the more education, the more points. French fluency nets you some points, English more. Fluency in both earns the most. And youth has its privileges: Over age 53 is worth zero points.

(See how you'd score at: www.cic.gc.ca/english/immigrate/skilled/assess/Education.asp.)

Say you make the grade. You've patiently waited -- it can take up to two years to process an application, Shadd said -- and you're granted permanent status in Canada, but you're not done yet. Be ready to pull out your passport and two copies of the personal and household items you're bringing in, prove you have enough money to support yourself (and any family members) for at least six months, and show you've been vaccinated with the standard shots of childhood.

But wait, there's more. Once in, you can become a citizen by living there three years and pledging allegiance not to a flag, but to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, Queen of Canada.

What if you fail the test, don't have the dough, can't claim special status, or just can't wait two years to get in? Well, you could just sneak across the border. But then you'd be an illegal or as they say up there, a "queue-jumper."

Officially, "that's in the country without status and subject to removal," said Shadd.

Karen Youso • 612-673-4407