Dey say dat global varming is a scientifical ting; But vhen I look yust out da door I do not see much spring.

Instead, da drivevay varms da heart of any polar bear, Wid snow an’ ice an’ drifts so high dey make me pull my hair.

Da fuel bill don’t sugyest to me dat I yam in da tropics.

A barbecue ain’t gonna be vun of my pressing topics.

So if yew tink dat Minnesota soon will be Bangkok, Well, min venn, yust bundle up and shovel my sidevalk!

Tim Torkildson, Minneapolis