He's been your best friend since high school, but you have no idea what he sees in her. Or she's been your sounding board for every big decision since kindergarten, and now she's latched onto that meathead. And you have to attend the wedding?

After working more than 500 nuptials, Mark Kingsdorf, one of 59 master bridal consultants in the world, has seen it all. His tips to get through the next ill-advised wedding with grace:

Be quick if you can. "If you're just going as a guest ... all you have to do is show up and smile. As long as they see you're there, there will be enough needy people bothering the bride and groom in the middle of their dinner that you won't have to say a word."

If you have to speak, keep it short. "Give them a simple 'Congratulations,' a big smile, a buddy hug and leave it at that. You don't have to go into 'I'm so happy for you' or 'You're so perfect together.'"

For a toast, stick to what you know. "Let's say I'm the best man, but I don't like my friend's wife," he said. "You just tell bro stories about where you did fun stuff in college. Just paint a picture of what a great guy he is. Acknowledge the bride by just saying ... 'Doesn't the bride look beautiful?' Everyone will cheer."

Dance. "When there are 200 people dancing, there's not a lot of conversation during 'Sweet Caroline.'"

Stay sober. The biggest slips come from boozy lips. "At least stay sober until you get through the toast. If you hate her or him, the more you drink the more likely you are to slide something in there that's not a good idea."