Remember the first rule of lazy entertainment journalism: when writing about a musician, try to work the title of a hit song into the first sentence. Let's see if AP is up to the task today:

That rather goes without saying. Let's take a look at that name. Zachary Jackson John sounds too much like a roadie for Rascal Flatts, but Zachary Jackson Furnish-John has a nice meter. But there's a LEvon dropped square in the middle. LEEEvon. Yes, it's guy from the song. A very bad song. Oh, the tune's okay, but the lyrics, like most of Bernie Taupin's stuff, is collegiate-level poetry with the usual profundities. Levon was one of those characters beloved by rock songwriters: the rich man who doesn't know he's really leading an empty life devoid of meaning! Also, he's getting old and will die some day!

In this case, Levon sold "cartoon balloons." So Elton named his son after a successful balloon salesman who named his son Jesus. Well, the fans may love it, but I wonder if half the fans listen to "Candle in the Wind" and wonder how Elton could have know Princess Di would die when he wrote that song in 1973. It's just spooky when you think about it.

CNN tried its hand at working in song titles, too:

No. No, they're not.