Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, relationships, grooming and more.

CP: The California Supremes have opened our nation's most populous state to what will no doubt be a big wave of gay and lesbian nuptials. Uber-lesbian Ellen DeGeneres already has announced her intentions. I see that wedding as very pantsuits-by-the-pool in Pacific Palisades -- as opposed to the crystals-and-leather ceremonies all through San Francisco's Castro District.

RN: I wonder how many Minnesotans are booking flights to the Golden State this summer to stand hand-in-hand before a justice of the peace. Unlike Massachusetts, the only other state in the union that permits same-sex marriages, but doesn't allow nonresident gays and lesbians to marry, the Land O' Schwarzenegger is open to all. California, here we come! I feel like Henry Fonda in "The Grapes of Wrath."

CP: Gay marriage in Massachusetts is all about flinty future in-laws soberly filling a colonial church on an elm-lined street. In California, I'm picturing men in caftans saying "I do" at an ashram on the Russian River. Holy matrimony followed by a whale watch at Point Reyes National Seashore. Blindfolded Hispanic same-sexers in San Diego celebrating their legal union around a custom-made Javier Bardem piñata.

RN: Too bad the court couldn't have ruled a few months earlier. Think of all the gals who could have tied the knot on the 18th hole at the Dinah Shore Golf Classic in Palm Springs.

CP: "LPGA" and "wedding day": For some lesbians, that's a rhyming fantasy come true. But given the impending statewide ballot initiative to undo this court decision, next year's tourney could be too late.

RN: Certainly for all the circuit boys who want to say their "I dos" over Madonna's "Hard Candy" at the 2009 White Party, officiated by some much-married movie star, perhaps Liz Taylor or Mickey Rooney. Each has tied the knot eight times. Rooney once famously quipped, "I'm the only man in the world whose marriage license reads, 'To whom it may concern.' " I say, good for the California court. After all, if Rooney can legally marry eight times, it seems only fair that a couple of West Hollywood gym bunnies can do it once.

CP: Maybe Mr. and Mr. Power Lifter could clear out a corner of Gold's Gym for the happy occasion. "You may now bench-press the groom."

RN: Wait, we're making the mistake that so many bridezillas do, placing entirely too much emphasis on Her Big Day rather than on the many that will follow.

CP: It's California, Capt. Bringdown: La-la land. Milk and honey. Cars and stars. Celebrity divorce. Who wants to ponder the daily duties that come after the laughter?

RN: How like you to equate the words "duty" and "marriage." Claude Peck, ever the romantic.

CP: Oops. I meant to say the daily unfolding of a mature and growing love. Surely that is more meaningful than a lot of hooch and hollering (not to mention, forbidden carbs) at a gay wedding.

Click on W.G.'s weekly podcast at www.startribune.com/withering. E-mail W.G. at witheringglance@startribune.com.