Satirist Lizz Winstead was electronically mortified by Tandoor owner Sarita Kalra’s cellphone.

“Do you have a butter churn, too?” Winstead quipped.

The phone is not that many generations old, and it works. But when you consider how overjoyed Sarita and Kul Kalra are about the upcoming arrival of their first grandchild, how many baby pictures are about to be taken and how otherwise savvy she is about social media, it’s time for an updated phone.

“That could be on ‘Antiques Roadshow,’ ” the co-creator of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” continued on my as Sarita shyly remarked, “I’ll have to hide it.”

Despite the spicy ribbing, Sarita insisted on paying for our meals. Lunch at Tandoor in Bloomington has become an annual occurrence for us since Lizz figured out that my favorite Indian restaurant was also a favorite of her late dad’s, who became a celebrity on “The Daily Show.”

The big news out of the lunch was the pending arrival of a baby due to be delivered by Sarita’s daughter-in-law, Paveena Kalra. I was invited to, but was unable to attend, Paveena’s 2008 marriage, a traditionally lavish three-day Sikh ceremony in Bangkok. She married Sarita’s eldest son, whose name escapes me just as my phone number has his memory.

When I ran into What’s His Face at Mike Tyson’s appearance last week at Pour House, I had words for him as blue as the ones Lizz sometimes uses on Twitter. He claimed that if I had been to the restaurant in the past eight months I’d have known. This is the same little doofus who can always remember my e-mail address when he wants to send me a photo of himself and a celebrity. At least that is what I assume is in the photo he sent me (which I have refused to open) after the Tyson event.

Congratulations, Paveena, darling. I know how trying your life must be.

Lizz on the state of the world

On my, I asked Lizz Winstead about the lengthy “Duck Dynasty” suspension, her using naughty words on Twitter, how Symbolina will react to the “Lizz 2013” logo for her political year in review show and what she’ll miss most when Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s term ends later this year.

On the “Duck Dynasty” kerfuffle: “I can’t believe the ‘Duck Dynasty’ anything was a scandal. Let’s be honest: There’s no reality show that isn’t about people who aren’t supercontroversial. Every show plays on the worst of our natures and the worst of the people’s natures. Anybody who is surprised the ‘Duck Dynasty’ guy is dropping really weird crap is lying. There has to have been an audition tape. Everything they tried to control about that guy was probably on an editing room floor.”

No pause about swearing on Twitter: “I’m a big curser. It’s sort of the ‘Duck Dynasty’ thing. I swear. I am who I am, and you can like it or you can hate it, but I would like you to make a judgment about me based on exactly who I am.”

The Lizz 2013 logo that kinda looks like Prince’s 1999 graphic: “Kind of? I’m going to say Prince is a benevolent soul. Because I wasn’t trying to mass produce it and make money off it, he is going to be perfectly fine with it, although I’m sure he doesn’t know I exist.”

Honor for the Common Man has named KFAN’s Dan Cole, The Common Man, one of the “Top Sports Talkers of 2013.”

He was typically self-effacing about the recognition when I ran into him last week at Mike Tyson’s appearance.

“I have no idea how they do it. We were just notified by RadioINK magazine that one of your hosts has been named one of the Top 30 local sports shows in the country,” he told me. “They take out the Dan Patricks, Jim Romes of the world [in other words, the really big radio stars] and they put me Number 28. So there are two All Days in town: Adrian Peterson, he’s 28, then there’s me.

“We give everything we’ve got. It’s kind of nice. Nice honor. I try to keep those things kind of quiet. You know me — my ego’s not that big.”

There you go, tipster Matt Drew, whose e-mail subject line — “Common Man … #28 and no mention from CJ?” — suggested that he thought I was trying to slight Common, when I was simply on vacation.


C.J. can be reached at and seen on Fox 9’s “Buzz.” Writing me means you may be quoted.