Reports of the maturation of Prince are grossly premature after he hurled a guitar he didn’t own to the floor before marching off “The Jimmy Fallon Show” stage Friday.
How will this rock ’n’ roll child ever learn what is acceptable behavior if nobody tells him?
Well, the man who owned the guitar is trying. Roots guitarist Kirk Douglas, known on Twitter as @CaptainKDouglas, tweeted: “Maybe it’s because I’m a dad, but I think framing the guitar is a little like rewarding bad behavior.”
Capt. Kirk gets it!
Among those who didn’t are most of those quoted at the website Muck Rack. Under the headline “What journalists are saying about #prince,” there was ample Twitter recitation of the basic info.
“#Prince borrows guitar, uses during @LateNightJimmy show, refuses to autograph, THEN slams it to floor in the end! #rockgodstatus,” wrote @blackthought.
On Muck Rack I found only a single tweet that might be considered even mildly critical of Symbolina’s outlandishly rude behavior: “I feel bad for Capt. Kirk’s guitar,” tweeted Dan DeLuca, the Philadelphia Inquirer’s pop music critic.
Of course, Capt. Kirk must not know much about Prince to have thought that Symbolina would ever autograph the instrument. Only place I’ve ever seen Symbolina’s autograph was on a court document.
While thinking Prince would autograph the instrument was silly, if it’s true, Capt. Kirk was naive not to know that when you give an instrument to a child — of the regular or petulant rock ’n’ roll variety — you cannot reasonably expect your property to be treated respectfully.
And can’t you just imagine that shortly after tossing the electric guitar (which landed close enough to something else electrical to cause feedback that had Jimmy Fallon looking for the off button), Symbolina was probably arrogantly averring: Broken or not, I just enhanced the value of that guitar.
Sadly, he’s probably right. While Prince fans believe he can do no wrong, this was egregious given the ownership of the guitar.
Someone as upstanding as Prince — who always makes sure his property taxes are paid promptly and would never paint a house he was renting purple — is probably just trying to decide when is the best time to deliver a check or another guitar to Capt. Kirk. (Insert hysterical laughter here.)
Lyrics a problem?
“Screwdriver” sounds like it should be added to that Prince.org list of songs that Prince doesn’t perform anymore because they are too racy.
“I’m your driver and you’re my screw,” the key lyrics go.
You don’t have to be Freud or Masters and Johnson to get the gist of those lyrics, and they probably shouldn’t pass the lips of someone whose religion caused him to drop certain staple songs from his act. Interesting that “Screwdriver,” the first song Prince sang Friday to an overjoyed Jimmy Fallon and his audience, is the ditty with the lyric “We smash guitars and shatter glass.”
And the “Bambi” song has homophobic overtones:
“You had another lover and she looked just like you/
“Bambi, can’t you understand?/
“Bambi, it’s better with a man.”
Those “Screwdriver” lyrics could make you glad that Prince knows a girl with a pocket full of horses, some of which are Trojans.
C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or firstname.lastname@example.org. E-mailers, please state a subject — “Hello” doesn’t count. Attachments are not opened, so don’t even try. More of her attitude can be seen on FOX 9 Thursday mornings.