Our daughter has a very rigorous college class this semester, yet every day she calls me. When I pick up the phone, she says, "Dad, I'm way too busy to talk right now."

OK. I get it. She really doesn't need to talk, she just needs to connect.

I have met several people recently who seem disconnected from their money. A couple of them have done really well, yet still feel squeezed. A couple of others have not done as well, yet spend as though they are rich. Money is not truly integrated in their lives.

If you want to have a resolution for 2015 around money, make it a simple one: I will pay attention to how I spend and save. No need to have huge goals, simply take time to really notice the impact money is having on your life.

Wanting what you get

I was talking to someone who had a grand plan for what their future was going to look like. They described doing things that they were not going to enjoy until they could make enough money to do something they loved. This is great in theory, but I said to them, "You may end up getting what you want, but not wanting what you get."

When we do things simply for money, we end up making decisions that end up imprisoning us in roles or lifestyles that are disconnected from who we really are. And this lack of connectedness often causes us to continue making decisions that keep us stuck.

Clients who are afraid of money don't conquer their fear by hoarding it. Financial security doesn't come from having enough, it comes from believing that you have enough. The distinction is not subtle. I know people who have a lot of money who feel no peace from it. While they may have originally worried about making it, now they are nervous about losing it.

Two approaches

There are a couple of ways to better connect with your money.

The most important thing that you can do is to take time to understand how you are feeling about money. Go the step beyond writing down a goal and instead write what that goal represents for you. There are pluses and minuses to anything you do. A client who bought a new house for their expanding family moved away from a neighborhood that they loved. While more room may be the reason, it is an interesting one. Average new home sizes are up more than 40 percent in the past 40 years; larger homes represent more than simply a desire for room. Status may be chosen over commutes, additional housing costs over other experiences. When you are aware of why you are spending, you will make decisions more consistent with your values.

The second way to connect with your money is simply to pause. If you are feeling anxious about a money decision, use anxiety as data. You may be facing a conflict that action won't resolve. Many money decisions create some anxiety, but the degree to which you are experiencing it may mean you haven't spent enough time working through the issue.

A better 2015 money connection will bring you more satisfaction than anything the money will buy.

Spend your life wisely.

Ross Levin is the founding principal of Accredited Investors Inc. in Edina. His Gains & Losses column appears on the last Sunday of the month. His e-mail is ross@accredited.com.