My 8-year-old daughter, at present, is planning to be the world's first soccer star-cheerleader-doctor-marine biologist. And I've done nothing to dissuade that dream. Many times I've said the parent's mantra: You can be anything you want to be! Do I know that to be true? No. So why say it? Probably to make her happy, to give her confidence. But am I truly building confidence when the premise might be false?

Food for thought on that point came today from Tim Sanders, a dot-come executive turned motivational speaker who is in Minneapolis to address the annual meeting of the YMCA of Greater St. Paul/Metropolitan Minneapolis. Sanders was careful not to encourage parents to squash kids' dreams. However, he said that statement -- you can be anything you want to be -- shouldn't be uttered.

"That to me is no different than an American Idol winner looking into the camera the minute they won and saying, 'don't you let anybody tell you differently. You just do what you want to do. You'll make it,'" Sanders said in an interview. "I find it a very popular argument. It resonates easily, because it's like a jailbreak from responsibility."

So what about it parents? Have you ever said those magic words to your kids? Have you specifically avoided saying those words?

Responsibility, especially for parents, he said, is raising children who develop a sense of purpose for their community, and not just a passion to fulfill their own dreams. Sanders admits that it's an unpopular message. Some parents are so focused on being likeable and making their children happy that their children grow up self-interested. But then the Tiger Mom approach of rigid rules and focus steers children toward a sense of success that centers on "excellence" for themselves but not necessarily "significance" for their communities, he said.

"The issue I have with the Tiger Mom brigade, if you will, is they are trying to create 30 year olds out of 13 year olds," he said.

The Internet is encouraging today's children to develop a purpose-driven view," Sanders said. "They are gravitating toward volunteering. I call this the Internet effect. If you grow up online, everything's connected. It's so natural to you that we live in an interdependent world." But he worries that they are still leading lives of passion over purpose, and that their volunteer spirits will erode as they age and gain more responsibilities.

Passion can come eventually from pursuing a life of purpose. Sanders added that people with purpose-driven lives are often happier and more successful, because they aren't as derailed by criticism as people who are criticized for their personal passions.

"When you follow purpose you become so much more bulletproof," he said. "You become objective about criticism much more easily."

All careers offer purpose, said Sanders, who chided pro athletes who play for themselves, but commended those who play for their cities. Musicians can play for fame, but jazz great Miles Davis played -- even when he didn't want to -- because he felt the music offered comfort and sanity to listeners.

"The burning question is what's true north," Sanders said. "Because that's the important thing in our life. We have to have a compass and that compass guides us. It's the source of our values."