DRAMAS"The Mob Doctor": A surgeon (Jordana Spiro) must balance an impossible workload with her obligations to the mob. The most shocking element of this medical-gangster mashup is that it expects the audience to swallow the plot without cracking up. Premieres 8 p.m. Sept. 17, KMSP, Ch. 9. ★
"Elementary": Somewhere during his journey from London to modern-day New York, Sherlock Holmes (Jonny Lee Miller) misplaced his wicked wit and his mojo. Even casting Lucy Liu as his new Watson doesn't do the trick. Stick with PBS' smarter, sexier "Sherlock." 9 p.m. Sept. 27, WCCO, Ch. 4. ★★
"Made in Jersey": An attorney (British import Janet Montgomery) uses her Jersey wits to transform into a modern-day Perry Mason, one with poofy hair, blue-collar siblings and an accent as thick as Boardwalk pretzels. Any law partner who would put such a novice in front of a judge--not to mention a savvy TV viewer-- should be disbarred. 8 p.m. Sept. 28, WCCO, Ch. 4. ★★
"666 Park Avenue": A young couple move into an apartment complex haunted by something a lot more sinister than Casper the Friendly Ghost. "Lost" veteran Terry O'Quinn revisits his creepy side as the manager who just may be the devil's advocate. There's a fair share of spooky moments, but compared with "American Horror Story," this address feels like Graceland. 9 p.m. Sept. 30, KSTP. Ch. 5. ★★ 1/2
"Arrow": Stephen Arnell's abs star in this no-talk, all-action saga about one of DC Comics' lesser-known superheroes, the Green Arrow. The success of this series will hinge solely on how many viewers want to ogle Arnell's ripped bod. 7 p.m. Oct. 10, WUCW, Ch. 23. ★ 1/2
"Chicago Fire": "Law & Order" creator Dick Wolf introduces a team of would-be supermodels who trade in their runway clothes for uniforms at what appears to be the world's busiest fire station. There's little time spent making chili -- or developing compelling story lines. 9 p.m. Oct. 10, KARE, Ch. 11. ★★
"Beauty and the Beast": In the CW's version of this classic tale, "Beauty" is a butt-kicking detective (Kristin Kreuk) who could be Nancy Drew's classmate and "Beast" (Jay Ryan) is a hunk who turns Hulk whenever you make him angry. It's a winning formula -- for 16-year-old girls. 8 p.m. Oct. 11, WUCW, Ch. 23. ★★
SITCOMS
"The New Normal": It's about a same-sex couple who want to raise a baby. No, it's about a young mother who leaves her cheating boyfriend to strike out on her own. Wait, it's about Ellen Barkin spitting out insensitive comments that would make Archie Bunker blush. It's about--never mind. It isn't worth the trouble. 8:30 p.m. Tuesday, KARE, Ch. 11. ★ 1/2