"Scared of Santa: Scenes of Terror in Toyland," by Denise Joyce and Nancy Watkins (Harper, 274 pages, $9.95).

One of the rug-rat rites of passage has been captured in 250 photos of screaming toddlers plopped on Santa's lap. The pictures -- from 60-year-old heirlooms to recent shots -- were chosen from hundreds submitted to the Chicago Tribune. The authors have embellished the collection with captions ("I've got a full diaper and I'm not afraid to use it." "I hope you're prepared to pay for my therapy sessions, Mom!") and point out that dressing children in cute holiday outfits doesn't make hysterics look any more festive.

"Pat the Husband: A Parody," by Kate Merrow Nelligan (Cider Mill Press, unnumbered, $9.95).

This wicked parody of "Pat the Bunny" will be popular long after the holidays -- just wait until wedding season next June. In the manner of the original, there are tabs to pull, moving parts and even a texture to rub (best left to the imagination). Help hubby tackle such masculine challenges as finding the ketchup bottle (hint: it's in front of his nose), asking for directions and deciding who wears the pants in the family. Don't fret about gay nuptials; it would appear that modern marriage needs saving from itself.

"The Lump of Coal," by Lemony Snicket with art by Brett Helquist (Harper Collins, unnumbered, $12.99).

Move over, Rudolph and Frosty, you've got company -- a walking, talking lump of coal (who, like many people who dress in black and make smudges, wants to become an artist). Will it achieve its great ambition? "Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see," says the author. As uncharming as this tale pretends to be, don't be surprised if you find this lump of coal just a little bit heartwarming.

Star Tribune, Star Tribune
Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris

"The Idler's Glossary," by Joshua Glenn and Mark Kingwell, with design and decoration by Seth (Biblioasis, 132 pages, $12.95).

Since the beginning of time, those who worked have disparaged those who chose not to. This glossary examines the origins and history of hundreds of idler-specific words and phrases such as "dawdler," "layabout" and "Waiting for Godot." A recent addition is "flazy," a combination of fat and lazy. Although some parents would probably like to slip this into a teenager's stocking, pity the poor man who finds this in his -- along with "Pat the Husband"!

"Holidays on Ice," by David Sedaris (Little Brown, 166 pages, $16.99).

Sedaris' classic has been updated and expanded with six more stories to spread the jollification (and mortification) of the season. And not just this season, but a year's worth of embarrassments, including the difficulties in explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves") and what Halloween looks like at the medical examiner's office ("The Monster Mash"). The collection begins with the famous "SantaLand Diaries." Perhaps if we had known as toddlers how funny it would all be someday, we wouldn't have screamed at the sight of St. Nick.

"The Secret History of Giants: Or the Codex Giganticum," by Ari Berk (Candlewick Press, unnumbered, $16.99).

The biggest of the little books herewith, but since it's about giants, that's not surprising. It might be a stretch to get it into a stocking, but any Harry Potter fan will be glad you did. Giants of the Americas, Celtic giants, Norse giants and giants of the Eastern and Outermost Fastnesses -- this beautifully illustrated guide to their lives and lore (with lots of flaps to lift for extra reading) is truly a gargantuan undertaking.

"Cats in the Belfry," by Doreen Tovey with illustrations by Dan Brown (St. Martin's Press, 224 pages, $18.95).

First published more than 40 years ago, this classic has been reissued with specially commissioned black-and-white illustrations. Tovey, who lived in a 250-year-old cottage in Somerset, England, had a pet squirrel named Blondin who kept the mice at bay. After Blondin passed away, the mice invaded and the solution was to get a cat; a cute, mischievous Siamese kitten named Sugieh. The Toveys quickly discovered that Sugieh was not just any cat; she was a prima donna, an empress of cats. When she wasn't chewing up telegrams, tearing holes into anything made of wool or screaming like a banshee, she was chasing a fox and diving into fish ponds. Things grew even more exciting once she became a mother. Tuck this one into the stocking of anyone who has shared a life with or is fascinated with felines.

Jarrett Smith is a Star Tribune features copy editor.