"Scared of Santa: Scenes of Terror in Toyland," by Denise Joyce and Nancy Watkins (Harper, 274 pages, $9.95).
One of the rug-rat rites of passage has been captured in 250 photos of screaming toddlers plopped on Santa's lap. The pictures -- from 60-year-old heirlooms to recent shots -- were chosen from hundreds submitted to the Chicago Tribune. The authors have embellished the collection with captions ("I've got a full diaper and I'm not afraid to use it." "I hope you're prepared to pay for my therapy sessions, Mom!") and point out that dressing children in cute holiday outfits doesn't make hysterics look any more festive.
"Pat the Husband: A Parody," by Kate Merrow Nelligan (Cider Mill Press, unnumbered, $9.95).
This wicked parody of "Pat the Bunny" will be popular long after the holidays -- just wait until wedding season next June. In the manner of the original, there are tabs to pull, moving parts and even a texture to rub (best left to the imagination). Help hubby tackle such masculine challenges as finding the ketchup bottle (hint: it's in front of his nose), asking for directions and deciding who wears the pants in the family. Don't fret about gay nuptials; it would appear that modern marriage needs saving from itself.
"The Lump of Coal," by Lemony Snicket with art by Brett Helquist (Harper Collins, unnumbered, $12.99).
Move over, Rudolph and Frosty, you've got company -- a walking, talking lump of coal (who, like many people who dress in black and make smudges, wants to become an artist). Will it achieve its great ambition? "Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see," says the author. As uncharming as this tale pretends to be, don't be surprised if you find this lump of coal just a little bit heartwarming.
"The Idler's Glossary," by Joshua Glenn and Mark Kingwell, with design and decoration by Seth (Biblioasis, 132 pages, $12.95).
Since the beginning of time, those who worked have disparaged those who chose not to. This glossary examines the origins and history of hundreds of idler-specific words and phrases such as "dawdler," "layabout" and "Waiting for Godot." A recent addition is "flazy," a combination of fat and lazy. Although some parents would probably like to slip this into a teenager's stocking, pity the poor man who finds this in his -- along with "Pat the Husband"!