On Sept. 13, ophthalmologist Dr. Katerina Kurteeva, who practices in Newport Beach, Calif., shared with her Instagram followers a troubling video, Oddity Central reported. Kurteeva documented the removal of "forgotten" contact lenses from an elderly patient's eye — 23 of them, to be exact. Some of them were so old they had turned green. "They were essentially glued together," she wrote.

Join the parade

The South China Morning Post reported on Oct. 7 that a new health fad is trending among elderly Chinese: crocodile crawling. Hundreds of people in eastern China, who call themselves the Crocodile Group, dress in matching uniforms and chant rhythmic slogans while they crawl, single-file, on their hands and feet around a jogging track. Afficionados say the exercise helps with back pain. "I previously had problems with a herniated disc," said Li Wei, the group's coach. "After doing this for eight months, I don't feel any pain anymore." One doctor explained that the movement is similar to pushups, except you're moving forward.

Least competent criminal

In Seminole, Fla., 56-year-old Paul James Sinclair summoned his inner 8-year-old on Oct. 10 as he attempted a bank robbery. According to the Smoking Gun, Sinclair entered a Chase branch with his hand under his shirt making "the shape of a gun with his finger," arrest records said. He advised teller Desiree Stefanik not to "push any buttons." Sinclair got away with only $120 and was arrested shortly after the incident.

He fingered the perp

On Oct. 6, Burlington, N.C., police officers responded to an unusual call, the News & Record reported. A homeowner told them that as he walked from his car to his front door, an armed man approached him and tried to force his way inside the house. The victim was able to slam the door on the suspect — or, more precisely, on the suspect's hand. As investigators processed the scene, they found a glove with a severed finger inside, which they used to identify Vernon Forest Wilson, 67. He was booked on multiple charges and held on $250,000 bond.

This stinks

Buyers snapped up 10,000 bottles of Elon Musk's new perfume, Burnt Hair, in just a few hours — at $100 a pop. "With a name like mine, getting into the fragrance business was inevitable — why did I even fight it for so long!?" Musk wondered on Twitter. The perfume is described on the Boring Company's website as "the essence of repugnant desire." "Just like leaning over a candle at the dinner table, but without all the hard work," it says. The scent won't start shipping until September 2023.

Questionable judgment

Youth pastor Cory Wall of the Fairview Baptist Church in Greer, S.C., misstepped in a big way on Oct. 5 when he distributed "I (heart) hot youth pastors" stickers to the young members of his congregation, Only Sky reported. After setting off a social media backlash, Wall admitted that his "joke" was a "mistake." The church issued a public statement on Oct. 9, allowing that the sticker was "offensive to some" and confirming that Wall had been placed on administrative leave.

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