Our daughter was uncharacteristically nervous during a presentation she was giving. The more she tried to ignore her plight, the more flushed she became. She said her talk ended just before she unsuccessfully willed perspiration from her upper lip.

One of the unusual things with money, and life, is that we may cause what we fear. I have known people who were so worried about losing their job that they were not effective in it. They became focused on trying to keep their job rather than doing good work. The fear was not the issue; being controlled by it rather than accepting it was the problem. Their fear may have prevented them from realizing they were in the wrong job in the first place.

Trying to ignore our fears doesn't work. Putting our head in the sand may help for a bit, but inevitably something will come up that causes the fear spiral again. "The danger is not that the soul should doubt there is any bread, but that, by a lie, it should persuade itself that it is not hungry," wrote Simone Weil. When we sit with what we fear, it will generally pass.

Investors who have been particularly nervous about this market volatility are not served by ignoring their feelings. With a sound approach and strategy, market ­fluctuations are what create long term returns.

You only get rewarded by accepting certain risks. Investors who are controlled by their anxiety may get whipsawed because they become too aggressive too late in a market cycle. Some avoid stocks entirely, causing them to need to save more in lower returning investments in order to meet their long-term objectives. But rather than avoid the nervousness that comes with turmoil, acknowledging it and choosing to sit with some ­discomfort is a better approach.

It often helps to understand where the fear is coming from. The fact that investments drop is not what causes concern. What makes people anxious is the stories that they create — they won't have enough money, they will have to work longer, they will have to sell their home. With couples, conversation can allay the fears if both partners share their concerns. Often, one partner tries to act calm, causing the other partner to feel like he has to be scared for both of them.

Stakes for our daughter were low and she laughingly moved on. In our financial lives, the stakes may be higher, but they're nothing to be afraid of.

Spend your life wisely.

Ross Levin is the founding principal of Accredited Investors Inc. in Edina.