On one side of the conference-room table is the father who's annoyed about missing work, the mother who has steam coming out of her ears and the student who is full of trepidation because he's sure that nothing good can come from this ill-fated meeting. On the other side is the teacher who feels underpaid and now, under fire; the guidance counselor who would rather be helping the honor student, and the principal who longs for problem-free days but rarely enjoys even one.
Parents might find themselves in just such a meeting if a problem arises between a teacher and their child this school year, but it's not really how you want the dispute resolved. The potentially confrontational scene should be the last step in finding a resolution.
Here are some tips on how to handle the student-teacher clash and stay out of the principal's office until you really need to be there.
Show you care. It sounds like a given, but teachers and administrators will tell you that many parents don't care nearly enough about their child's education. Distinguish yourself by playing an active role at your school.
Establish a relationship. Share previous problems or current concerns at the beginning. Maintain regular contact through the year via conference nights, e-mail and online systems for tracking your child's progress. Teachers can discern how often you check in online to keep up with grades. You won't be able to solve the problem a week before the grading period.
Learn as much as you can. Ask for a syllabus or course outline at the beginning of the year and study it. The more you know about the course, the more informed inquiries you can make with your children about their progress.
Challenge your child, first. If he complains about a teacher, challenge him to solve it. Not every teacher's personality will perfectly mesh with your child's, but the same truism will apply in the real world. A child has to learn to adjust. Tell him to discern what the teacher expects and then deliver. Teachers don't randomly decide to hate a particular student.
Enhance your role. If he continues to struggle, meet with the teacher, preferably face to face, but don't do so in a confrontational manner. Instead, ask, "How can I help you get him to do better?" Give added attention if needed. Also, leave your child in the hallway. It allows for a freer exchange of information.