Dear Amy: Due to the pandemic, my husband and I have decided that we won't see any extended family during the holidays. Our four kids will be disappointed, but we're just not sure it's worth the risk.
I expressed as much to my sister-in-law, and she responded that their family wouldn't be gathering for the holidays, either, so they understand.
Then, my mother-in-law clarified that the reason my sister-in-law's family won't be gathering is because they have decided to take a trip to Disney World, instead.
She added that because it's "dirt cheap right now" and likely won't be crowded, it just made the most sense for them to go there at this time.
I am upset and disappointed that my sister-in-law and her family are choosing to do this.
I feel that it's extremely irresponsible to come from what is right now one of the biggest coronavirus hot spots to a crowded place. Behavior like this is why we as a nation are still dealing with this virus.
I know from past conversations that they are not worried for their family because they say they are perfectly healthy, and feel that anything outdoors is totally fine.
I really feel like saying something to them, but is it worth it?
I don't want to judge the way anyone else is coping with the pandemic, and I also wonder if my negative judgment will impact our relationship.
Amy says: You are getting this information about your sister-in-law's choices secondhand. Given both the reality of the pandemic, and your opinion about what they are doing, you should be glad that you aren't planning to see these family members anytime soon.
As Dr. Anthony Fauci has said, traveling any long distance creates multiple possible COVID exposures. So, while families may believe they are safe outdoors — masked and maintaining distance from other groups — getting to Florida and back carries a risk of exposing them to the virus.
Unless your sister-in-law tells you about this trip, and asks for your opinion, why would you volunteer it? This family has access to the same information you have access to; they have evidently put together their own risk assessment and have decided to plow ahead with their plans.
Send questions to Amy Dickinson at firstname.lastname@example.org.