A moment of historic opportunity for men

The firestorm of discussion on sexual harassment and assault presents a remarkable opportunity to men.

In this rare moment of openness, men can provide historic leadership in dismantling belief systems that have been so harmful to women. This opportunity is particularly acute for men who are holding themselves accountable for their own abuse of women.

Personal stories can have an enormous influence on cultural change. Over the past weeks, women have done their part in igniting an essential shift by telling their stories. As a result, we have the gift of a deeper and broader understanding that abusive and violent male behavior is so common it has shaped the rhythm of women's lives and caused horrific harm.

Every woman I know could write a book on the depressing spectrum of male behavior she has experienced in her life — from humiliation that isolated and shamed her to serious physical assault. None of them has written such a book — because, until now, it didn't seem to matter. It was clear that it was up to us to endure sexualized workplaces, endless demeaning comments, disgusting and unwanted overtures, groping, stalking. Even our lived reality of rape and assault would be questioned and picked apart until we doubted ourselves and the truth.

All that has changed in the last few weeks as women's stories fill the news, are exchanged in the workplace, in the home and among friends. In our fury, in the chilling commonality of the details of abuse, we have affirmed each other.

Now it is men's turn to contribute to the cultural shift. Men can describe the messages of entitlement they have received all their lives. They can confirm their part in this tragedy. They can describe the many ways they benefited from harassing, demeaning, even assaulting women.

They felt powerful, they got laughs, they got what they wanted. Or they watched another man benefit, and did not object. They can confirm that their disregard of women's pain and degradation was accepted and even encouraged.

Men can speak to the fact that this mistreatment of girls and women has been ordinary. They can be leaders in dispelling the myth that sexual assault, abuse and harassment are aberrant behaviors. They can guide our community understanding that this conduct is a natural and direct result of systems and beliefs that subjugate women and girls.

These men can go much further than admitting that they were wrong. They can name and challenge the cultural forces that facilitated the abuse and work with us as more prominent leaders in the effort to dismantle them.

I read that Minnesota U.S. Sen. Al Franken, after being accused of abuse, spent days in private reflection. Reflection is a word I hear a lot today from men. "I didn't realize it." "I see now that what I did was wrong." "Now I can see how humiliating that was to her."

Many men are experiencing this awakening and are on a journey of personal reckoning. My hope is that men's public descriptions of their own journeys will go beyond their personal stories to using their voices to transform society.

Now that they finally see the damage their gender has wrought, they must confront the entrenched power structure that is the bedrock for the pain and subjugation of half the human race. I am excited to see which men will step up.

Cheryl Thomas is executive director of Global Rights for Women in Minneapolis.