It's no surprise that differences in co-workers' personalities and styles can create bumps in the workplace. Responses to recent columns have highlighted the emotional reactions that these differences can cause, and provide useful food for thought.
The column "Slow talker can't get point across because of interruptions" (June 27) raised reactions including comments that people should be ready to say what they have to say, commenting that "if you babble and pause, you're asking for it." In contrast, another reader felt that those who interrupt are "just plain rude and inconsiderate." From my perspective, this provides a vivid example of people who are not stopping to look through someone else's eyes. Consider the characterization of rude and inconsiderate, and then listen to this reader who confesses to being an interrupter: "I am one of the 'talkers over.' I try valiantly to restrain myself, not intending to be rude at all. It is just hard for me to gauge the other person's speed at first. I can't be sure when he/she is done talking when there is what seems like a long pause after expression of an idea, and I jump in to answer, but the other person starts talking again."
To the slow talkers out there -- learn to provide cues that you're still talking. To the quick talkers -- be observant and respect the slow talkers' pace.
Similarly, there was a strong reaction to "Manager wonders about employee who doesn't mix" from Sept. 26. In this case, responses were unified in the view that people need to live and let live. For example, one reader commented, "If he's doing his job, how about if you leave him alone? Unless this is seventh grade, maybe you should appreciate that not everyone fits into a clique and that's OK."
Other readers saw the pressure to join in the fun through the introvert-extrovert lens. "As an introvert, I find this article worrisome. Not every human being is an extrovert type. Some people do actually feel drained physically and mentally after interacting with others. This is why they are introverts." As another said, "I'm not a committed introvert, but I don't need Mr. Happy Family Dept. Manager telling me I need to be more sociable so he can feel good. I perform work, quietly get along with the co-workers I like and ignore the ones I don't, and the company pays me; I even come up with a brilliant idea now and then. It's win-win already, why mess with it?"
Other comments included that an employee may tend to be withdrawn because of past bullying or that he may have Asperger's syndrome. Clearly situations like these would call for additional sensitivity from managers.
All of these points highlight the importance of recognizing the differences among people and creating a workplace where differences are seen as a source of strength. In this type of workplace, there is room for differing opinions and the resulting disagreements, but within a context of respect and civility. While the cases that were featured in these columns were minor, day-to-day issues, practicing acceptance of others on the small things will lead to an environment that supports everyone. And who doesn't want to work there?
Readers, as always, keep your comments coming. They are thought-provoking and of benefit to all of us.
What challenges do you face at work? Send your questions to Liz Reyer, a credentialed coach and president of Reyer Coaching & Consulting in Eagan. She can be reached at liz@deliverchange.com.
