It has come to our attention that David Kahn is not merely the Timberwolves' President of Basketball Operations. He is not only in charge of assembling a roster that is undeniably talented ... no, he is also trying to TIME TRAVEL.
More specifically, he is trying to QUANTUM LEAP.
Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, David Kahn stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator - and vanished. He awoke to find himself facing roster issues that were not his own doing, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Rick Adelman, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of an exceedingly competent coach. And so Kahn finds himself leaping from year to year, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap ... will fix a draft blunder.
How else do we explain this:
*In 2006, Kevin McHale swaps Brandon Roy for Randy Foye in a draft-night mis-step for the ages. But this offseason, with Roy trying to give it another go on knees that are made of tape, shark blood and torn up pictures of Paul Grant, Kahn LEAPS BACK 6 YEARS and signs him to play for the Wolves. Results: Inconclusive, though Roy is hurt right now.
*In 2003, the Wolves and McHale -- desperate for an infusion of young talent to go with a nice veteran nucleus (and after years of draft forfeitures thanks to the Joe Smith debacle) -- gamble on high schooler Ndudi Ebi with the No. 26 pick, passing on four-year Wake Forest product Josh Howard, who is taken three picks later at No. 29 by Dallas. Howard goes on to have a very productive career; Ebi, well, doesn't. But the 2012 Wolves are injury ravaged, and Kahn LEAPS BACK 9 YEARS to undo that wrong, bringing Howard to his rightful home. Results: Incomplete, but if it means we don't see a lineup of Shved, Conroy, Lee, Amundson and Cunningham -- like we did for a stretch Wednesday -- it can't be all bad.
*In 1999, the Wolves had two first-round picks. At No. 6, they did OK for themselves by taking Wally Szczerbiak. At No. 14, they did not. They took William Avery. They could have had Andrei Kirilenko, who went later in the first round to Utah. Undeterred by the fact that Wolves fans were cheated out of AK47's prime years, Kahn LEAPS BACK 13 YEARS in the offseason and grabs Kirilenko, who has been nothing short of brilliant so far.
Kahn has already undone one of his own moves, swapping Wayne Ellington (28th overall in 2009) for Dante Cunningham (33rd overall the same year). He has also dispatched top picks Jonny Flynn and Wes Johnson. If he brings in Steph Curry and DeMarcus Cousins in future years, maybe he will finally be able to LEAP HOME.