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CP: A further stipulation on the entertainment front: No movie sequel shall go past No. 2. This will encourage Hollywood studios to, I dunno, use their imagination.
RN: Which is currently being funneled into television and Web series. Perhaps a moratorium on brilliant shows until I’m able to catch up with “Breaking Bad,” “Homeland,” “Mr. Selfridge” and “House of Cards.”
CP: Whistleblowers and document leakers must be punished severely, even if Congress moves swiftly on a bipartisan basis (insert chortle here) to enact reforms based on their leaks.
RN: It’s going to be an uphill climb, but we must encourage Congress to boost its approval rating by five points. That’ll get it to 20. Out of 100.
CP: Heck, let’s lower the cost of health care, Rick. Because we can.
RN: While we’re at it, I recommend our policy institute make a major advocacy push, urging slow drivers to keep out of the left lane.
CP: We should mellow down the entire nation by piping NPR into all public spaces, around-the- clock. Volume can be left quite low.
RN: Our newfound expertise could land us on “Wait, Wait … Don’t Tell Me!” I long to hear Carl Kasell’s baritone on your voice-mail greeting.
Twitter: @claudepeck and @RickNelsonStrib