Do us a favor, Iowa, and the morning after the Republican caucuses send Michele Bachmann back to Minnesota. It’s not that I relish Rep. Bachmann announcing another run for Congress and bringing her skewed worldview back home, but at least it removes her from the national stage. If Bachmann can’t get traction in Iowa, her home state, she will have no choice but to suspend her presidential campaign and return to the 6th District. Better to have Bachmann’s embarrassing comments limited to Minnesota, rather than having her spouting off all over the country.
And while you’re at it, Iowa, send Governor Rick Perry back to Texas, too. There, he could spend his days replaying that defining “oops” moment in the debate when he couldn’t remember which federal agencies he would close. Perhaps he could use his impressive fundraising skills to raise money for a “Rick Perry Debating School” at the University of Texas.
It’s too much to hope that you might send Newt Gingrich back on a Greek cruise or shopping at Tiffany, Iowa, but you can deliver a clear message that the Republican nomination will not be his. It seems we haven’t seen the last of the former Speaker, but help us, Iowa, to limit the damage Gingrich can do to the country. A distant finish might not force him out of the campaign, yet, but the writing would be on the wall.
What would the Iowa caucuses be without some surprises? A Rick Santorum or Ron Paul victory could only benefit Mitt Romney. Moderate Republicans around the country would quickly rally behind the former Massachusetts governor knowing that a Santorum or Paul name at the top of the Republican presidential ticket would ensure four more years of President Obama.
If you really want to surprise the nation, Iowa, provide former Utah Governor John Huntsman with a strong showing. He is the one candidate still standing in the Republican race who hasn’t had his 15 minutes of presidential primary fame. And, he is the one person in the race who might actually be presidential. It would be nice to hear from him before he is sent packing and Mitt Romney is declared the Republican nominee.