Kim Kardashian might want to put a clamp on her whiny commentary about the decorating at husband Kris Humphries' Lake Minnetonka home.
His mom, Debra Humphries, decorated Kris' place.
That's a known fact around the Twin Cities. But it's information that apparently escaped Kim K., who made snide comments about the home's decor during "Kim's Fairytale [Marriage*]: A Kardashian Event." (*We'll call the ceremony a "wedding" for Kris, since it was his first trip down the aisle, but a "marriage" for Kim, because she's been married before.)
Flowers and a note of apology should already have arrived at the metro residence of Debra and William Humphries.
This was one of countless gaffes committed by Kardashian during the two-night TV special about their August nuptials. The Washington Post's Jen Chaney wrote two pieces, which can be found at www.startribune.com/a729, providing "rundowns" of the TV "ridiculousness" encapsulated in those episodes.
Among the ridiculous: "The Kardashians' complete disregard for Humphries."
Chaney picked apart "total control-freak narcissists, Kim and mom Kris [Jenner]" for "choosing the venue behind Humphries' back, arranging for transportation for only the bride's side of the wedding party [italics mine] and generally disregarding his [Kris H's] existence as a human being." As for Kim and her mom strongly favoring Christina Aguilera as the wedding reception performer, when the groom detests Aguilera with a passion, Chaney said, "When your potential wife and in-laws can't even bother to consider your anti-Xtina opinions, it's time to reconsider the marriage."
Chaney's blog entries were a bullet-point presentation on the many times Humphries should have become the runaway groom. Another example, this gem with the subhead: "During a particularly heated argument, Kardashian disrespected Humphries's home state of Minnesota."
Said Kardashian: "I was definitely raised in a different world than, like, Yee-haw Minnesota."
Like -- to quote an ersatz sophisticate -- where the heck is Yee-haw?
Must be right down the road from the very special place where Debra Humphries may want to met Kim, instead of the family residence, in the future.
There were only glimpses of Kris' mom during the airing of the fairytale -- another glaring omission in this all-out assault on sensibility.
This union has the potential to be so unpleasant that accidentally leaving his wedding ring at a TSA checkpoint may become a regular part of Kris Humphries' rebellion.
Lynx allure grows
Lil Wayne loves the Lynx.
"Sports fanatic Lil Wayne doesn't just show up for the fellas. And rocked some interesting cutoffs in his [Seimone Augustus] jersey," states theybf.com.
Lil Wayne was sporting a "murse," noted TMZ, "the manliest accessory on the planet."
At lilwaynehq.com there are lots of photos of Lil Wayne at Game 3, where the Lynx swept the Atlanta Dream for the WNBA championship. In one pix, a woman is holding Lil Wayne's face in her hands. A good photo caption would be: What in the world have you done to your teeth?
There's also a photo of Lil Wayne at Game 3 greeting former NBAer Julius Erving, whose reverse layup was being compared with Maya Moore's reverse move during Game 1.
Overthehill Gang
Members of Sugarhill Gang sounded as if they could have used a shot of insulin before their halftime performance at Game 1 of the Lynx' WinningNBA champion series.
Their rendition of "Rapper's Delight," their 1979 song, wasn't even as good as Ellen Albertini Dow's version in 1998's "The Wedding Singer."
Why was that? I asked 96.3 Now FM's B-Right, who was also the Lynx in-arena host. "I think they might have been a little tired. You can't expect the Sugarhill Gang from memory. It's about the nostalgia of Sugarhill Gang. That's what I got out of it."
The famous repeated riff wasn't recognizable but once?
"Oh, stop," said B-Right. "That one notable riff was there in the mind. For me it was good to see them there and they're still alive."
B-Right thought the Lynx were going to win it all last season, until players started getting injured. "I've been telling people we were talented enough to win a championship," B-Right said.
She doth protest too much
The first misconception controversial teenage bride Courtney Stodden has told other media she wants to address on her upcoming reality show is suspicion that her breasts are not original equipment.
Michigan plastic surgeon Dr. Anthony Youn, who has never treated Stodden, is probably not going to make Courtney's short list of medical experts who can be of assistance. That's fine with him because, according to an interview posted on dryoun.com, the only purely cosmetic surgery he performs on someone under 18 is breast reduction surgery.
"Stodden's breasts look like two grapefruit halves stuffed into a Victoria's Secret push-up bra. The excessive roundness is a major sign that she has breast implants. In addition, it's rare for women that thin to have breasts that big," the author of the plastic surgery memoir "In Stitches" told me.
"The crazy thing about it," said Dr. Youn: "Since she is only 17 and a minor, it means her parents would have to sign the consent form for her to have a breast augmentation."
These would be the same parents who consented to Stodden marrying actor and Apple Valley High alum Doug Hutchison, who was 35 years her senior when they married.
If their reality show actually makes it on air, I beg you to watch it with the volume down when the mismatched love birds are relating to each other face-to-face.
During their interview with ABC's Lara Spencer, who looked revolted enough to require a clothespin for her nose, the newlyweds made nonstop gyrating and undulating movements with their lips.
In the case of Stodden, I have not seen that much lip curling since Elvis died. Thankyaverymuch.
C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on FOX 9 Thursday mornings.
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