As a result of Kim Kardashian's pregnancy, I'm told that Kris Humphries' dad, businessman William Humphries, is getting congratulated on becoming a grandfather.
Humphries is probably giving these well-wishers very strange looks.
Rapper Kanye West is the father of this alleged bundle of joy conceived with Kardashian, although she's still married to the NBAer.
What a tangled web. Allow me to again mention how utterly TACKY this pregnancy is.
Despite Kimye demonstrating all the impulse control of a 3-year-old by not waiting for the dissolution, this baby could be just what Kris Humphries needs. Humphries has dug in his heels seeking an annulment instead of the divorce for which Kardashian filed after their 72-day marriage in 2011.
Now that she's expecting, Kardashian can dramatically go to court -- back of hand on forehead, Scarlett O'Hara style -- and look semi-noble while whining:
Give Kris whatever he wants, your honor. Even though I'm not having any morning sickness, being pregnant is really hard -- not nearly as much fun as the conception. I wanted this divorce over months ago. Being tied to Kris is creating additional stress in my life at a time when I need to concentrate on the well-being of my baby.
It's a way for Kardashian to give Humphries his annulment without it having the full stench of the fraud on which he is basing his request for a dissolution of the marriage.
We can sneer, but this is an easier sell to the suckers who watch the Kartrashyones reality shows and lap up their multifarious, manufactured nonsense.
A baby swaddled in annulment papers might even make Kim look momentarily sympathetic.
Paid to tweet
"It's really, really cool for me!" an excited Grittner said when reached via cellphone Monday in NYC. "I've been doing comedy for 13 years and I won't get into how much, but I am being compensated very lucratively for it, for the first time in my life. It's kind of a temporary trial run [with discussions to come on a more permanent arrangement]. I'm about to finish my first month, and then I have two months after that.
"What happened was I've been on Twitter [@SamGrittner] for about four years, and I have some really big names who follow me. I got an opportunity to apply for jobs at 'Late Night with Jimmy Fallon' and 'SNL Update' because of my Twitter account. Turns out the people at Hollywood.com were reading a bunch of people's timelines, looking for someone to jazz up their account. Michelle Lee, who's my boss, said I have complete editorial control but don't swear and don't offend people. She said they had been looking about my account for a while now and they were impressed."
An example of his @Hollywood_com work:
"Will Justin Bieber host AND perform on SNL or he is just smoking something? #Bieber teases us with a mysterious tweet: dlvr.it/2lzQDV."
A sad note
That was my nickname for Larry Oakes, a Strib colleague whose Friday suicide in Duluth has hushed our newsroom, where vases of flowers have appeared on his desk in memorial.
You just never really know what's going on inside somebody.
Larry seemed himself, with his usual quiet, sly, sometimes naughty sense of humor, when we chatted week before last at the water cooler. Our encounters were continuations of a silly conversational strand.
I remember drawing a huge laugh out of this always pleasant guy when I was trying to recall the name of another colleague. Larry couldn't help me as he quietly watched my memory lapse. Then I told him the name of the cartoon character of whom she strongly reminds me. Larry burst out laughing: "She does look like..."
The man with the handsome countenance of a 20-year-old for most of his life started to look a little older after growing a beard, but still not quite his age; he was 52 when he took his life.
Larry often shared stories that conveyed how much he loved his wife, Patty, and his kids and how much he adored those grandchildren. Meanwhile, he was apparently waging an ongoing battle with depression.
Rest well, Fresh Face.
C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or firstname.lastname@example.org. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on FOX 9 Thursday mornings.