Can’t imagine Lindsey Vonn normally trains in heels that high. Or such heavy eye makeup.

But the Olympic gold medal skier from Burnsville, whose 2013 knee injury will keep her away from February’s Sochi Olympics, looks very, well, bondagey on the pages of the Red Bulletin. That’s a sports magazine published by the Austrian beverage company Red Bull, according to Wikipedia.

For the cover, Vonn wears a menacing look, one boxing glove and a pink skull ring on her left pointing finger to illustrate the headline, “Pulls No Punches.” It’s a story about a comeback — one that was derailed after the interview — complete with sexually provocative photos of Vonn by Michael Muller.

On page 31, she’s wearing a two-piece number, which shows off nice abs, while lifting weights and giving the camera a sultry, no-nonsense glare — all to show she “Is Gunning For Olympic Glory,” according to the magazine.

Then, on page 32, Vonn turns up the kink a notch. Assuming an assertive stance, Vonn poses in what looks like a teddy, leggings, the aforementioned stiletto heels (with what may be shackles for straps) and weightlifting gloves, her hands resting in gymnastic steady rings.

While we’ve seen Vonn modeling bikinis for SI’s vapid swimsuit edition, Red Bulletin features several looks and poses sure to get tongues wagging and eyes winking, now that Vonn is dating world famous golfer Tiger Woods.

Not images I would have wanted out there were I dating Woods and his bedroom baggage.

“Yes, Tiger Woods makes me a better athlete,” Vonn concedes to writer Stefan Wagner.

“The man currently at your side is a sports icon, the highest-earning athlete in the world, winner of 14 golf majors,” the interviewer asked.

“Nice try,” Vonn replies with laugh. “Of course, Tiger is a strong character, but he isn’t dominating. He plays a completely different role. I decide what happens in my life. Even Tiger isn’t going to change that.”

Vonn goes on to say, “Winning isn’t everything; I know that. I’ve gone through enough — the divorce [from former coach Thomas Vonn], the depression, now the injury. In the worst phases of my depression and the period before my divorce, I was almost addicted to people liking me, but the more I feel confident in myself, the less it matters to me what other people think. I’ve also come to realize that it does me more emotional harm than good if I rely that much on comments [of strangers]. Many things have changed since I’ve been with Tiger.”

In other interviews, Vonn has said she’d like to have children. With her Olympic career looking like it’s over, the countdown can begin on whether she gets a ring and a date from Woods, if she desires such.

Man, Kris can pick them

TMZ, which normally skewers Kris Humphries, is sticking a fork into the woman who claims the NBAer gave her herpes.

“The girl who sued Kris Humphries for giving her herpes has slept with so many men she can’t say for sure whether the NBA star is actually the one responsible for transmitting it,” TMZ reported. “Kayla Goldberg sued Humphries in 2012, claiming she had unprotected sex with Humphries in 2010 and he gave her genital herpes. But apparently suing Kris isn’t the only thing that’s easy. According to new docs filed by Humphries’ attorneys, Kayla admitted during a recent deposition that she has no hard evidence he’s the one who gave her the herp because she’s had multiple sexual partners. Humphries wants her lawsuit dismissed.”

On Wednesday, I contacted Humphries’ Minneapolis attorney, Lee Hutton III of Zelle Hofmann, and he sounded flabbergasted by the TMZ report.

“I can’t comment. The documents were filed under seal,” he said.

Asked if Humphries remains herpes free, Hutton said, “Yeah. Part of my practice is vigorously defending high-profile individuals from people trying to receive a payday through litigation. Humphries has shown he doesn’t have this virus.”

Johnny Football a Viking?

ESPN’s Mel Kiper Jr. said Wednesday that the Vikings might draft Texas A&M’s Johnny Manziel.

“Not only will it be great for the Vikings, it would be great for CJ,” my Strib sports colleague, Patrick Reusse of @1500ESPN_Reusse, tweeted a couple of weeks ago.

From the looks of TMZ Sports, Johnny Football likes a girl who is suspiciously buxom. I LOVE Johnny Football and hope that he matures into a man who likes women who don’t have outsized features. But I’m not holding my breath.


C.J. can be reached at and seen on Fox 9’s “Buzz.” E-mailers, please state a subject; “Hello” does not count. Attachments are not opened.