Only 72 days after a ridiculous $10 million wedding, the Kris Humphries-Kim Kardashian union looks like a Grimm Fairy Tale, indeed, with her filing for divorce Monday.
That's $138,000 for each day, according to calculations by TMZ.com, which has been on top of the confirmed breakup story and had the divorce papers: "We're told even though the marriage was short, she is not seeking an annulment. It's a garden variety divorce in which Kim cites 'irreconcilable differences.' We're told Kris was passionate about eventually settling down in Minnesota, where he's from, and believed Kim was on board. She wasn't."
Anybody who caught episodes of E!'s "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" or "Kim's Fairytale [Marriage]: A Kardashian Event" could see Kim only had disdain for Minnesota.
"I definitely was raised in a different world than, like, Yee Haw Minnesota," Kim famously remarked to Kris during the marriage event show. There is no city with that name in Minnesota, where we have plenty of communities with strange names. Kim's dig was designed to say she considered his home state the sticks, although she affectionately called Minneapolis "Minny" in some TV interviews.
When I left the office late Friday, my information was that the reality TV star and her NBA husband were working through their newlywed issues (plastered all over the web and gossip mags) that had both of them questioning what they did on Aug. 20.
I was told that Humphries' Minnesota values had him determined to work through their differences. He wanted to follow in the tradition of his parents, Debra and William Humphries, and work on staying together, as most mature, long-married people know -- marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.
Of course, waiting at home for me was Friday night's episode of TMZ featuring "Kris and Kim Kaput?" video of what was interpreted as a fight between the newlyweds. Video of them leaving a Los Angeles restaurant together and getting into separate cars. Before they parted for the night, Kris got into Kim's car, endured a death stare from her and a tepid kiss.
So they are fighting, I thought? There was so much to fight over!
• Kim went off on a business trip to Dubai with her mom, leaving Kris, who was apparently not invited, even though he's not doing anything right now with the NBA lockout.
• She spends money like it's going out of style; he knows there will be a rainy day.
• She doesn't like his dogs sleeping on her expensive duvet, even though she had multiple bedding linens and a person who takes them to the cleaners.
• Kim was for changing her name to Humphries-- which delighted Kris no end -- before she was against it for business reasons. (The solution was easy but that was not mentioned on the TV show.)
• Big-time Minnesota mother-in-law problems were brewing, after some snide, elitist remarks Kim made a about items around Kris' house that were reportedly gifts from his grandparents.
But apparently the biggest sticking point in the union was where they would live ... eventually.
He has homes in Minnesota, on the East Coast and in South Beach; she has a residence in Los Angeles.
But Kim cannot by dynamited out of her dysfunctional family, located in California.
The important thing is that Kim did everything possible to make the marriage work. Ha!
Never the brightest light in the Halloween display, Kardashian spent all her time planning a wedding (that probably didn't cost her anything) and apparently no time discussing the logistics of the actual marriage. Anyone paying any attention could tell this was never going to work, but I thought it was going to last more than 72 days.
C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or email@example.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on FOX 9 Thursday mornings.