With the "Big Brother" season coming to an end, I was elated that I was able to watch the second-to-the-last episode Saturday night. With some Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream in hand, I snuggled up in my afghan blanket and was ready to indulge myself for the next hour — until, that is, I got a news notification that multiple people were stabbed at the Crossroads Mall in St. Cloud.
In disbelief, I quickly thought of the many people I knew who lived in St. Cloud. Desperately trying to get more information, I made the mistake most people make, which is reading the comments online. Even before the news broke that the suspect was a young Somali guy, the comments were filled with racism and disdain for the Somali community in St. Cloud. Comments like, "Probs one of those f*** Somalis. They all need to be rounded up and shipped off," filled the news article's comment section.
I could feel my heart pounding. Why was I so scared that this suspect could be a person of color or a Muslim? Because I knew the backlash would travel all the way to me, a 19-year-old Somali girl who was born and raised in Minnesota.
I graduated with a 3.9 GPA and with multiple extra-curicular activities under my belt. Why do my achievements matter? Because, somehow, the actions of the people of my ethnicity and/or religion reflect on me — an innocent girl who was planning on watching her favorite TV show the night that the attack occurred.
I quickly turned on the local police scanner, hoping to get some information that would suggest that it was not a Somali or a Muslim. But it seemed the racists wanted desperately for this to have been caused by a Somali Muslim. Sadly, they got their wish.
This was the first time I had cried in a long while. I couldn't look people in the eye as I went to work the next day. I even contemplated not wearing my hijab, but decided I should anyway.
I cried seeing an elderly Somali woman this morning being called a "A dirty terrorist ni**er who needs to be run over" by a white man in a gray truck, even though, in our community she is known to have lost her son and husband to a terrorist attack carried out by Al-Shabab years back.
I cried because I remembered the racism I dealt with from my white friend's parents because they "believed" I was in a relationship with their son. Can you imagine getting a text message from grown adults saying that their son could never be with a "Somalian" and hurling racist abuse toward a 14-year-old girl?