Marriott hotels has announced that it will use facial recognition to check in guests in some Chinese hotels. It'll happen here, eventually. As much as I love shiny new tech, this will be buggy as a flophouse mattress at first. You'll be glaring at a camera blinking your password in Morse code nine times before the clerk gives up.
Why am I suspicious? The other day I set up a hotel app for my wife, who was going out of town for a wedding. The hotel chain sent an e-mail advising her to check in by downloading their new app, and she could track her points, too!
Who doesn't get a tingle over the idea of sitting down with a cool one, putting your feet up and checking your hotel chain points? Even better: You get points just for using the app. Before, you had nine points. Now you have 11! Only 3,989 more to Tin Status, which earns you an extra washcloth at any of the Suite Premium, PremeSweet, UltraSuite, or Country Home/Red Gutter Inn locations. (Conditions and terms apply. Washcloth must be returned at end of stay. Charges up to $9 per washcloth accumulate daily. Points cannot be transferred, exchanged for cash or used when you want.)
"Do you have a Members Rewards BonusClass Points Account?" I asked my wife. "Oh, probably," she sighed.
"Do you know your account number?" She gave me a look that suggested she would not be rolling up her pants leg to show where it was tattooed on her shin. No, she didn't know her account number.
"OK, we can use your e-mail and password. Do you know what those are?"
"Look," she said. "I can just go to the hotel and, you know, check in."
"No, no, we can do that on the app! Look, it has a concierge feature. You can text them for a toothpaste, and they'll bring it right up."