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Jim Souhan: Failure in Axe rivalry turns predictably scary

The question has become when, rather than if, as one watches the Gophers crumble in the border battle for the sixth painful year in a row.

October 4, 2009 at 4:38AM
Wisconsin players celebrated at the end of the game by reclaiming Paul Bunyan's axe.
Wisconsin players, including Armstrong graduate David Gilreath (85), celebrated at the end of the game by reclaiming Paul Bunyan's Axe. (Dml - Minneapolis Star Tribune/The Minnesota Star Tribune)

There is a moment in every well-plotted horror film when a starlet steps into a shower, or a protagonist walks through a poorly lit room, and you squirm in your seat, as the rational portion of your brain begs you to turn away.

The most famous horror-film series in recent years is named "Saw."

"Saw" has nothing on the recent "rivalry" between Wisconsin and Minnesota, which we should call, simply, "Axe."

For lifelong Minnesota football fans -- whether your life extends back to Bierman or just to Mason -- the physical whipping administered by Wisconsin on Saturday had to feel like this season's "Uh-oh, we're still the Gophers" moment.

The contest for Paul Bunyan's Axe entered a new arena Saturday, with the Gophers playing their first Big Ten game and most emotional game of the season at TCF Bank Stadium.

The beauty and electricity of the setting did not alter the outcome of the rivalry. Wisconsin dominated the line of scrimmage and beat Minnesota for the sixth consecutive time, 31-28.

"Axe VI" began with the Gophers squandering scoring opportunities, and ended with Wisconsin sadistically applying blunt-force injuries to the Minnesota defense. Badgers back John Clay rushed for 184 yards and three touchdowns, and the Gophers kept the game close in the second half largely because Marcus Sherels returned a fumble 88 yards for a touchdown when Wisconsin was about to end the suspense in the fourth quarter.

The loss leaves the Gophers at 3-2. They have beaten a bad Syracuse team, survived a tricky Air Force team, lost handily at home to a Cal team that subsequently lost by 39 points at Oregon, beaten an average Big Ten team in Northwestern, and now gotten whipped along the line of scrimmage in the most emotional game of the year.

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"This is going to sting for a while," Gophers quarterback Adam Weber said.

He should worry about just how correct he might be.

Last year, the Gophers were 7-3 when they lost a winnable game at Wisconsin. In the two games following the Wisconsin loss, they went 0-2 while being outscored 97-21.

In 2007, the Gophers finished the season with a 41-34 loss to Wisconsin that left Minnesota with no solace at the end of a 1-11 season.

In 2006, a 48-12 loss at Wisconsin kept the Gophers from a winning record, perhaps ultimately costing Glen Mason his job.

In 2005, the Gophers were 5-1 before losing in improbable fashion at home against the Badgers, starting a 2-4 slump. In 2004, a 38-14 loss at Wisconsin became the middle game in a three-game losing streak that doomed the Gophers to another Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, leaving Mason with another ceremonial guitar in the corner of his office.

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Because the Gophers have been unable to define themselves with major bowl appearances or major upsets of ranked powers, they have been defined by their recent losses to Wisconsin.

They have lost inexplicably and predictably. They managed to do both Saturday.

They inexplicably squandered a chance to build a comfortable lead at halftime, fumbling on their first drive, failing to score a touchdown after facing first-and-goal at the Wisconsin 1 late in the second quarter, and refusing to try to score on the last possession of the half.

If you are the superior team or rely on a superior defense, you may be wise to run out the clock when you lead 13-10 with two timeouts and 1:15 left in the first half.

If you are the Gophers, and you depend on your veteran quarterback and star receiver to win games, you can't afford to play conservatively in that situation.

The Gophers did, and Wisconsin, lucky to be trailing by just three at the half, could afford to emphasize their running game in the third quarter, when they handed the ball to Clay 11 times. He rushed for 78 yards in that quarter alone.

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Sherels' return and one quick-strike drive made the game agonizingly close, but the result of "Axe VI" looked similar to its prequels: a little suspense, a lot of gratuitous punishment, and moments that had to make the lifelong Gophers fan turn, reflexively, away.

Jim Souhan can be heard at 10-noon Sunday, and 6:40 a.m. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday on AM-1500. His twitter name is SouhanStrib. • jsouhan@startribune.com

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about the writer

about the writer

Jim Souhan

Columnist

Jim Souhan is a sports columnist for the Minnesota Star Tribune. He has worked at the paper since 1990, previously covering the Twins and Vikings.

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