There is a moment in every well-plotted horror film when a starlet steps into a shower, or a protagonist walks through a poorly lit room, and you squirm in your seat, as the rational portion of your brain begs you to turn away.
The most famous horror-film series in recent years is named "Saw."
"Saw" has nothing on the recent "rivalry" between Wisconsin and Minnesota, which we should call, simply, "Axe."
For lifelong Minnesota football fans -- whether your life extends back to Bierman or just to Mason -- the physical whipping administered by Wisconsin on Saturday had to feel like this season's "Uh-oh, we're still the Gophers" moment.
The contest for Paul Bunyan's Axe entered a new arena Saturday, with the Gophers playing their first Big Ten game and most emotional game of the season at TCF Bank Stadium.
The beauty and electricity of the setting did not alter the outcome of the rivalry. Wisconsin dominated the line of scrimmage and beat Minnesota for the sixth consecutive time, 31-28.
"Axe VI" began with the Gophers squandering scoring opportunities, and ended with Wisconsin sadistically applying blunt-force injuries to the Minnesota defense. Badgers back John Clay rushed for 184 yards and three touchdowns, and the Gophers kept the game close in the second half largely because Marcus Sherels returned a fumble 88 yards for a touchdown when Wisconsin was about to end the suspense in the fourth quarter.
The loss leaves the Gophers at 3-2. They have beaten a bad Syracuse team, survived a tricky Air Force team, lost handily at home to a Cal team that subsequently lost by 39 points at Oregon, beaten an average Big Ten team in Northwestern, and now gotten whipped along the line of scrimmage in the most emotional game of the year.