Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.
CP: Normally, getting daily unwanted communications from someone you don't know is grounds for reporting a stalker to the cops. So should I seek a restraining order on Hillary Clinton? What about the individual calling himself, creepily, TravelMole?
RN: Don't get me started. I'll drop into Target every few weeks for H&B stock-ups, but I'm not particularly interested in finding the Bull's-Eye in my daily e-mail feed.
CP: At least you might get a coupon out of Tar-zhay. But thus far I have done nothing I know of that would make me want to "rework my pencil skirt," or buy "the world's most comfortable support stocking."
RN: Well, other than age. Which, I might point out, you are doing rather splendidly. See, I can be nice.
CP: You are so nice that I'm going to share you with my good friend in Lithuania who has a very legit-sounding business proposal — to do with trading foreign currencies via Skype.
RN: Gee, thanks. Hey, at least you're not being inundated with offers to extend the subscription of a magazine — remember them? — one that isn't due to expire for another year. Enough already.
CP: I have a decent spam catcher on my work e-mail, but Tom, Dick and Harry all seem to know a highly effective workaround.