The nets are rolling out their fall schedules, giving you an idea of what you're going to see for a few weeks before it's cancelled and replaced with "America's Fattest Pets," or something. Fox is expanding "American Idol" to 90 minutes, because it makes lots of money and will now make more money. "Glee" has been renewed, of course. For more on Fox's schedule - including the nail-biting news that there is no replacement for Simon yet (Louie Anderson is probably available) - can be found here.

With "Lost" gone, where will people in search of Haunting Yet Peculiar programs go? Smart money says they'll go to J.J. Abrams' "Undercovers." They're spies! They're married! They've come out of retirement to solve crimes with mad ninja skillz and marital banter! Sounds horrible.

Never trust a show that has RPGs Wilford Brimley could outrun, but Abrams is good, so it could work.

Then there's "The Event," which is about the future when the Oval Office has no artificial illumination, young men smuggle guns on airplanes with the greatest of ease, and network executives think this will pique our interest:

Nice to see someone still believes the CIA that can keep secrets; in the real world, this would have been leaked to the New York Times years before. There's a Big Secret here - why has the government imprisoned 97 people? I'm guessing they're aliens or mutants, or stumbled on the secret KFC recipe, or some such McGuffin we'll never know because it's cancelled after five episodes. But I'll watch anyway, in case it's good. If it's cancelled, do not blame me. I did my part.